Ok so I am totally over people!!!
I am tired, getting like 2-3 hours sleep a night due to restless leg, back problems and being so freaking uncomfortable... No sleep!
And every time I say something about it on FB or to someone in person the general response is "oh it'll get worse don't worry" or "you'll get even less sleep with a baby!"
I mean come on ppl! WTF? Why be sooo mean as to tell me that I am going to get less sleep than the 2-3hrs a night I currently get!!!! Is it meant to make me feel great that I am even getting 2-3hrs now?? Am I meant to feel thankful for the ridiculous sh*t sleep I am getting cause apparently when this baby comes I am going to get no sleep?!
It is NOT helpful people!!! I don't care if you get less sleep when the baby comes!! Just don't keep telling me! It's making me feel crapper and making me not want this baby to come!! Almost like it's setting me up to fail because I am already so stressed and tired now, how am I going to handle this but with a baby???
BAH seriously... I do NOT want anyone elses opinions about what I should do, how I should feel or stories about there bad labours, sleepless nights, fussy babies, horror stories. People need to learn to shut the F up and just be nice and encouraging for once!!!!!!!
How bout a "you're going to be a great mum and don't worry about a thing" or a "it may hurt but it's an amazing experience" "they are worth every bit of pain! You'll love it!"
Why can't people just be nice instead of making me want to cry?!?
Ok rant over... Just really frustrated and already freaked out enough in the last few days so just needed to whinge!!!
If it makes you feel better, I had more sleep with a newborn, even an 8 month old than I got when my DD was 2.5! lol
She had reflux from about 5 months-10 months, but aside from that, newborns are easy So don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Until you get a high needs baby, don't let anyone make you stress about it.
I think people like to sprout cliches even when they are experienced enough to know they aren't true.
I got less sleep in my early twenties than I did when I had a newborn, and by far, late preg sleep is the worst isn't it! You will never be this uncomfortable again, this heavy and immobile and you will never feel more like a heffalump than you do lying in bed at night heavily pregnant, especially in summer lol
So chin up, once bubs is born you feel so light and breezy you will know what it is like to have a full night sleep (even if it is disrupted for feeding, at least you will be comfy in your own skin)
Thanks limeslice!
Thats what I keep thinking!! At least once she comes my body will be my body so even if I only get 2 hrs sleep at a time it'll be better than this crap useless sleep where I wake up more tired and sore and upset than when I fell alseep!
God people p*ss me right off with their negativity!!!!
When people make those sort of comments you have to remember that it is all about them, they are not necessarily thinking about you and your experience. No one can possible know what this will be like for you, what type of baby you will have. People will offer their stories for a whole range of reasons some think they are really being helpful, some are patting themselves on the back for their parenting and some people who have had/are having a rough time look back fondly at times that seemed easier. You forget the end of the pregnancy once you are in baby/kid world so "just" having to look after you seems like it was a better place and you forget how uncomfortable it really was.
We've had a rough start to parenthood and it wasn't what I was expecting at all. I have wanted to share that with friends who are expecting as I want them to be prepared and know that it is ok if it is hard and may not be all sunshine and it doesn't make you abnormal. So that is all about me as I have found it hard when others have talked about how easy their babies have been as I didn't want to feel like I was hopeless because it has been hard for us. However everyone's experience will be so different so as you say getting all these stories at this point isn't helpful as you can only experience one stage at a time and you are just trying to get to the end of this pregnancy. I have had friends who say after the birth "Why didn't anyone tell me it would be like this" and I just think until you get there there is no point in telling people stuff as it just isn't relevant to where they are at and they can't take it in. When you have had the baby and need advice other people's experiences will be valuable just not right now.
Parenthood is an amazing journey. Not only do you share in growing a new little person you learn things you never knew about yourself and you too grow in the process. And no matter whether you get more or less sleep than you are currently getting you will get through it because that's just what Mum's do. Hope you find a way of getting some more rest before bubs arrives.
Last edited by Lana; December 5th, 2010 at 05:10 AM.
i agree with lana - people tell you stuff (that you don't really want or need to know) that is their experience & really nothing to do with what your experience will be like! and of course, they love to tell you the really bad, freak you out kind of stories. and for some reason, they forget to tell you that for all the bad/negative stuff there is 10 times the number of moments where you just stare at your NB (and beyond the NB stage) & think 'how the hell did we make something so amazing & perfect'. you can lose hours just starting at your baby in wonder.
and yes, there's things like lack of sleep etc but you do have your body back & things like being able to sleep on your back again, being able to jump up off the couch in a hurry or being able to pick stuff up off the floor easily are huge pluses.
there's so much to look forward to, don't let people ruin that for you
Ohhhhh, yeah, I hear ya! For the most part I haven't copped any horror stories, but there's always the odd comment. Especially now that we've gone way over, I'm starting to post some overdue-type rants on FB. They're generally good natured, but there is one person who posts really odd stuff. Like when I FB-announced it - quietly, because I was very nervey about the whole thing - she posted "Wow! Happy news?" Who does that? And another time she posted something about when the sleepless nights start, I replied with "Between heartburn, leg cramps and inability to move anywhere without a forklift, they already have!" and she turned that into "Well, maybe I should reconsider getting pregnant if it's so awful." Which I thought was nasty, because I didn't say I don't love it. She doesn't know our history or how long we have waited (and are still waiting!!!) to have this baby, and I think that contributes to her sensitivity.
Lana's absolutely right, it is all about them when they make comments that are unsavoury.
So if you want advice, I would say try really hard to keep it positive - much harder for them to turn it around on you.
why can't people just listen hey? You just want a bit of a rant and people make you feel worse!
Yes you do have broken sleep with a newborn. But it's completely different to what you go through while pregnant. I slept worse before DS was born, especially at the stage you're at. Once he was out, I could sleep on my stomach again, didn't have to sleep sitting up due to heartburn, didn't have to have sips of milk through the night, didn't have to go to the toilet, didn't have to keep waking up to reposition myself, didn't have the aching hips etc.
Thanks ladies!!
I didn't get to sleep until after 4 last night and have been awake since 7. Boo!
I think I am frustrated because I KNOW how hard it is going to be!!! I have 4 nephews and a niece that I have spent lots of time with and my sister in law and sister have prepared me for what's ahead in a nice way. I know its going to be ridiculous sometimes but I also know I will get those amazing moments that make it all worth it.
I just hate being told I'm going to fail before I can even try.
I appreciate all the encouragement!!! I am all alone in Toowoomba with no friends (and I mean NO friends) and no family (we are with defense and just moved here) so its good to have support on here!
Mrs Bexie... Amen to that! You know what, I had more than 2 - 3 hours broken sleep with DD as a newborn, plus if your DH gets bub up and brings her into you for a feed occasionally you can stay in bed, feed and have him rock her back to sleep!
I'm over these sleepless nights too, it's the heartburn that keeps me up for hours.... but at least when our babies are here what little sleep we do get will be COMFORTABLE! No more waking up a thousand times to pee, or because i've had acid reflux and practically thrown up in bed, or leg cramps, sore hips. And yeah, you'll still be tired, but it's easier to deal with the sleep deprivation when you get newborn cuddles
I get more sleep now that bubby is here than I did when I was pregnant!!
When I was on maternity leave, each week I'd put how many weeks I had left as my status update on facebook and the week that I said I had 2 weeks left, 2 of my "friends" commented that I shouldn't get my hopes up and that I more than likely had 4 weeks left. I snippily commented back that of course I realise I'm not going to have her on my due date but that it's fun to count down and could they not pI$$ on my parade, kthnx! LOL, very apologetic after that and I ended up having her 2 days after my due date anyway! LOL
It's very frustrating. But I have to agree with Kate too, the comments just keep coming after bubby arrives.
I definately get more sleep now than I did before pregnant too! I had horrible heartburn and was up all night with it in pain now bub is here she is good and gets heaps of sleep
It only gets better when bubs here too soo many people are like they are cute now wait till they get older, my kids were good and now they are feral like seriously can't you just smile and say congrats than walk away rather than telling me how bad your children are!
I know what u mean. I was stil working and was about 27/28 weeks along and had a person tell me about their first born that was born early and had this problem then developed something else then something else and passed away a week later. That was after telling me about the 4 miscarriages his wife had to start.
On the other side tho I had a client tell me about their oldest who was born at 25 weeks but everythings fine and how great modern medicine was. We joked how my boss wouldnt like that if it was me (I then delivered at 30 weeks)
Even now I still get people saying both good and bad experiences. It's frustrating I know.
in my sisters words kthanxbye but thats wat she says when she doesnt like wat someone says
im getting more sleep now so dont listen to them i hated it this time when i was preg i was in so much pain i just wanted it to be over and when it was it was soo much better even with a brand new bubba and a toddler
ppl will give u advice but u dont have to take it just say thanx and ignore them if u want to it works with my MIL
Thanks girls!!
I am trying my best to ignore them. Just got sick of it last night cause someone commented on my FB post (I had said I was tired and wished I could sleep) saying it was going to get worse, commenting at like 1:30am! I mean come on... lol...
Feeling better today, but I swear if someone gives me "advice" I will tell them to shut it unless it's positive and they are going to tell me how great I am going to be! LOL.
people really do say the most ridiculous things I was sleeping really well right up until bub was born and every time people asked me how I was sleeping and I told them great they STILL felt the need to tell me "it'll get worse as you get closer to bub being born" you feel like screaming at them "are you even thinking about what you are staying"??? I'm really sorry you are having a crap sleep at the moment. We were also getting the old "you'll never sleep again" crap but some babies sleep for hours and you might get a huge sleep with them. Not so for us though, I got to sleep heaps while pregnant and now bub wakes every 2-3 hours. They are all different. Rest when you can and call in the troops to help you out if you need it.
What is with people?? *rant*
Reply With QuoteSo don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Until you get a high needs baby, don't let anyone make you stress about it.
I let them win
you feel like screaming at them "are you even thinking about what you are staying"??? I'm really sorry you are having a crap sleep at the moment. We were also getting the old "you'll never sleep again" crap but some babies sleep for hours and you might get a huge sleep with them. Not so for us though, I got to sleep heaps while pregnant and now bub wakes every 2-3 hours. They are all different. Rest when you can and call in the troops to help you out if you need it.
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