Hi,
My name is Racheal and I am mummy to 3 beautiful boys. I have 2 year old twins that where conceived through Ivf after 3 years of unexplained infertility. Just thinking back to that time brings tears to my eyes. Once we where blessed with our two little men i honestly thought that was all god was going to give us and then whoopsy... six months later I feel pregnant NATURALLY with my little man Luca who is nine months. My issue is I have one frozen emby left and do not know what to do! if money was not an issue we would go for it soon and maybe even more after that one! But money is already so tight and i am worried I will be making my three little ones suffer. On the other hand I tried so hard to have babies that I feel so wrong to just turn my back on this little emby! I can not bear the fact of donating it to someone or research and cry eveytime i think about destroying it!
My first thought was to donate it to another couple who are in the same place you were 4 years ago but you said you don't want to donate it so that's out.
Both our clinics send us information about what choices we have when our storage fee is due, ie: Use, donate or destroy (hate that word) They do however also include information on counselling that i think you MUST have if you are to donate, or dispose of your remaining embies.
Its a hard call. we have 13 in the freezer although i hope we will go back for more, in total over the years we have gone through over 90 eggs collected and over 50 frozen!
I hope you are able to find peace with what ever choice you make. GL
I am feeling a bit the same as you, we are now starting the process for hopefully #2 after 1 fresh and 3 FET's (7 emby's in total) to get our DD. We have 8 little frosties waiting for us and I'm in a strange headspace of thinking.... I hope we are successful first go and then also wanting to use all our frosties as the "what if" will probably be the hardest thing to get my head around.
My DH only wants preferably 2 little kidlets, although we have chosen to have 2 embryo's transferred as this is what we did to get DD and if we do happen to have twins then it would be a bonus. Saying that... if we did end up having all girls and if we still had any embryo's on ice I think I would be curious if any of those would be boys. Such a hard decision to make and I am dreading the possiblity of having to make such a decision myself.
Good luck with whatever you choose and I suppose you can always look at the upside that you still have some time before you need to make a decision and in the meantime things might change on the money front and then you might be able to move forward with using your little frostie.
I cant say what to do as we are not in the same situation but I just have to say you must be super mum 3 baby boys under sixteen months. WOW. I had to work it out 3 times to make sure I had it right.
Try using the councilor at the clinic that is what they are for.
It's a hard call
I think the first thing you should do is talk it through with your partner and a counsellor perhaps as well. And give yourself time - can you afford to keep it on ice?
I know when we first fell pregnant with DS we were dead keen to donate any leftovers we might have after finishing our family. But after he was born we felt completely different. The baby changed from being a hypothetical to a reality and I just wasn't sure if I could give up a child like that (I know it's not quite the same thing, but anyway). I personally hate the idea of destroying them and would rather they went to research or lab practice, but DH is deadset against that. Luckily we're not in the position of having to make that choice right now and still want to expand our family, so with any luck we won't have to.
All the best making your choice
I wish you all the best in making your decision. It's a hard one and one that not many people will understand. I think you really need to see a counselor. My DH and I have differing views (as does my mother - but no one even asked for her opinion!). I am going to wait for a few years before we decide, I think the $100 per 6 months is just another bill that needs paying and it means i don't have to address the decision until i'm ready.
I can only offer you a big hug and I'm sure whatever you do will be the best for you and your whole family.
I think that is the toughest decision that us "IVF-ers" have to make.
We often think about our 7 frozen embies and although we've only just had our little girl, we're not 100% sure at the moment we want any more babies. Maybe that'll change, maybe it won't, but we still have those frozen embryos to decide what to do with.
Thanks for all the fantastic advice! after much thought and a phone dissucion with a counsellor we have decided to give it a go! So we will wait till the end of this year and I will get my IUD taken out then take it from there. any idea if my doc will suggest a normal transfer at time of cycle or drugs?
As for your question about transfers.... it all depends on if you cycle normally or not. If you have a normal cycle (ie: ovulate by yourself) then you will probably have a non medicated cycle and have the FET done as the perfect time of your cycle. If you are like me and don't have a regular cycle then you will probably either have a "fake" natural cycle (ie: use clomid to get you to ovulate) or a HRT cycle (when you have a fully medicated cycle). When you are getting closer to the time the best thing to do is make an appt with your FS to discuss the best option for you.
One other thing... I don't know what state you are in but if you are in Vic then the law has changed regarding IVF and you now need police checks etc done. I had to get all this done before the clinic could proceed with any further procedures. Luckily for us everything is all back and fine for our FET in the next couple of weeks.
Yep, in Vic you need Police Checks and also Dept of Community Services Checks to make sure you have no police record for anything to do with children and the Community Services check is to make sure that you have never had any child/ren removed from your care.
It caused a huge uproar as it only applies to couples undergoing IVF etc.
Last edited by Lenny; June 25th, 2010 at 03:54 PM.
: Removed the last few lines - not relevant to this thread.
wow in one way they are doing the right thing but on the other we go through enough without asking if we are child abusers! Maybe they should also do it for every ovulating women and every fertile man!
Reply With Quote
Registered User
3 miracles what to do with frozen emby?
Bookmarks