Wow so glad i came across this discussion. It took us 3 years to have our first child - we did not go the IVF route - think a bit in denial but also we wanted a baby but also did not want to feel the pressure of constantly trying to conceive. It was intensely private to us both and family remarks on when is it going to happen did not help until we spilled the beans that we are actually trying and them backing off would be appreciated.

Well we fell pregnant and it was great excitement - leading up to confusion and stress - i had bleeding at 9 weeks and also 20 weeks and ended in a C-section due to Pre-eclampsia.

So during pregnancy - sex life was not that great and having waited for so long it felt like a huge stress and us almost drifting apart - our baby arrived - thought things will get better but it stayed the same - then one day tried to confront my husband thought the fact that i'm breastfeeding might be the problem, my extra weight - but he did not know how to talk to me about his feelings and it all came down to him worried that he will hurt me and that he was not sure if i was ready for intimacy - COMMUNICATION IS ALL WE NEEDED - i think having waited for so long for a baby and then trying to adjust to being a mom, just finding your feet and do what should be natural to you but don't is a huge adjustment. Then still being a wife and lover you some how loose a bit of your own identity - not knowing who am i. Instead of talking we some how try to think what the other one is thinking.

I must admit we went through a pretty ruff time and even thought of ending our relationship - but things work out for the better by just talking being more open with one another - and I'm happy to say now that we are going strong - stronger than ever before and having baby nr 3 after 9 years of no contraception.

Im glad that there are other ladies going through the same scenario and truly believe being open with each other can only be good - for me i was so worried about the baby the pregnancy ext and we forget that maybe the men (daddies to be) are having more issues than us. They have us there wife/partner and unborn baby to worry about.

Wish you all the best and happy loving relationships