i do understand where you are coming from. my DF joined a sex personals site the week i miscarried the first time..and it has taken months of fear, blame, accusations, and worse to come back to the pont where we are together. i may say more later, atm i'm wanted elsewhere, but i can only agree that communication, as calmly as possible (not that it is easy, at all!!!) is the only way thru this minefield. i wish you all the best