Anyone had marital issues after LTTTC & pregnancy?

[Mumma&Bubba(s)]

Hi Numa,
Sorry to hear about your marital problems.
After our son was born my husband lost a lot of his libido and wasn't terribly interested in intimacy for a while, whereas I was more "up for it" after the birth! (Go figure). It took some time but he got his drive and desire back, we put it down to hormones (sometimes women are the ones with the problem after a child is born and during pregnancy), apparently it's not rare for it to occur in males too. I know your husband was looking "elsewhere" but a fear of hurting the baby is common too, if anything I think (and hope) things will improve for you after your little one is born as that fear will be no longer an issue. I genuinely hope things work out for your family, communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, as long as you're both open and honest with eachother from now on you should be a very happy bunch
xx

[Mumma&Bubba(s)]

Good luck

[nic]

The first trimester was a no go for us, I had no desire, and I think DH was too freaked out to do anything either, plus there was the pessaries...and don't they just make ya feel sexy!
By the time 2nd trimester rocked around, we both felt a bit better about it, but the last trimester DH absolutely freaked out about DTD and bringing labour on. When we arrived for our scheduled c/s and found that i was already 8cm dilated...well.. you could see that DH just wanted to scream out loud - AND THIS IS WHY I WAS AFRAID TO DO IT!

I still have a bit of a dig at him about it now, and he still gets upset about it, what if we had DTD? he says. "DS might have ended up here a whole lot earlier than planned"

I can only imagine what it feels like to find out that your husband has joined a site and lied about it. I think after the emotional IVF/AC rollercoaster we ride on, that when we get off (at station pregnancy and station baby) we realise that honesty was such a big part of it all, and if it doesn't continue afterwards, then it's another shock, and yet something else we have to deal with.

I hope all works out

Nic

[~Aveta~]

i do understand where you are coming from. my DF joined a sex personals site the week i miscarried the first time..and it has taken months of fear, blame, accusations, and worse to come back to the pont where we are together. i may say more later, atm i'm wanted elsewhere, but i can only agree that communication, as calmly as possible (not that it is easy, at all!!!) is the only way thru this minefield. i wish you all the best