Sue, you definately shouldn't feel like a fraud... everyone is right, we try so hard for so long to have these little people in our lives, that we are almost waiting for the next speed bump in the road to take our dream away from us
I don't think pregnancy really kicked in for me until the day after DS was born! I got up out of bed for the 1st time after the c/s and while in there I thought "I have a real bubba out there" and actually had a little cry... probably due to the relief that he was physically here in our lives??
I didn't want to buy anything, then I would have moments when that was all I wanted to do.. I felt like I had spent years looking at little clothes in passing, toys, prams being pushed past me, and I think it was hard to get out of that frame of thought that it was actually going to happen. DH was the one who picked up the box with our change table and told me we were going to put it on layby...if he hadn't, I'd probably still be standing there umming and ahhing about it pmsl.
YAY for going out to buy a going home outfit too That is a big step, don't be hard on yourself about that one..
Thanks guys, your responses have helped me a lot. There isn't a lot of people in my life who knows exactly how this feels - everyone just thinks I should be happy that I'm pregnant and just get over it. I actually just smile and don't bother telling some people how I am really feeling, it's too awkward for some people to understand I think. Kind of like the infertility. No-one wants to hear the negative parts. People just don't know what to say.
This week has been a real kind of breakthrough for me and I am starting to plan stuff too. I had to let my work know of my maternity leave intentions today as it's only 6 weeks till I finish up - I'd kind of been in denial about that too as my work has been my other thing (other than DH) that has got me through some tough times. It's been good to have a career to focus on when the baby making wasn't going so well. So it will be weird to finish up there!!!
Thanks again and congrats to you all who have your long awaited little babies!
I really can hardly wait to meet mine!
S X
I am glad that I am not the only one who feels like this!
I am 13 weeks after falling from our 3 ART attempt and I am still feeling like something bad should happen. I have had 4 scans and it still doesn't seem really real.
I have been like someone else in here mentioned - I want to get organised and layby some things so that we can pay them off (we are financially stretched after IVF) and one of my questions will be if something goes wrong can we get our money back I have bought a few little outfits only cause DH suggested that we really should start getting organised. We have bought a portable cot only because it was the one that we wanted, was drastically reduced at xmas sales and because DH had to pick it up and put it in the trolley - all the way to the check out I was umming and arrhing about it. I keep thinking that we can always see the few things we have bought if anything happens.
We have still not told people and when we go to a family outing with cousins and uncles and aunties I still haven't said anything - DH keeps asking when I am going to say something and I keep putting it off. I guess I keep thinking that if we tell to many people I will jinx myself, something will happen and I will be embarrassed to have to tell peopel that no its not happening anymore. When people do ask if I am excited I feel sad and so no not really. I will just be happy when it arrives and its safe and healthy.
Glad I stumbled across this thread - glad it isn't just me!
I'm in week 26, and still worried. Have only bought a cot, becasue DH forced me too, and now a stuffed toy... Not even started to decorate the baby's room, or set up the cot. Too early still. I didn't tell friends and family until week 16, when I was forced by DH. I have problems with the pregancy and will have to go for another US in 3 weeks. When SIL (who is having her 3rd - they started trying at the same time as us...) heard that, she told me to go and get the 3D US at a private x-ray "because they are so cute", not even listning to me when I told her that I had to go to a specialist ("with a referal you can go any where you want, and they are cute..."). It seem to be such a big difference between people who get pregnant staright away, and have no complications or health worries. SIL even posted on facebook as soon as the test was positive. I wish I could feel like that, but I'm just worried. I don't want to "jinx" it... I hope it will be different when bub is here.
this is a really interesting thread - I am only new on this site (only joining after becoming PG) but it's reassuring to read that others after LTTTC have these feelings and worries. I have been feeling guilty about being so detached from the reality of being pregnant even now with bubs performing the rumba in there.
We were so grateful our first IVF cycle was successfull and I thought the worrying and waiting would be over once we got that BFP but I am not sure my FS helped by saying she would really celebrate when the 7 week scan showed a heartbeat which gave me whole new set of deadlines (7wk, 12wk, 20wk) to think about. Now I concern myself with whether she is moving enough!
Anyway at 23 weeks I strive to keep my worries a bay and enjoy this journey but thanks very much for starting up this discussion
It is good to hear that I am not alone in the way that I am thinking - although I'm a little sad to hear that after all of our struggles to get pregnant, there are so many of us unable to fully enjoy our pregnancies.
That is a big step, don't be hard on yourself about that one..
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I have bought a few little outfits only cause DH suggested that we really should start getting organised. We have bought a portable cot only because it was the one that we wanted, was drastically reduced at xmas sales and because DH had to pick it up and put it in the trolley - all the way to the check out I was umming and arrhing about it. I keep thinking that we can always see the few things we have bought if anything happens.
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