Thanks guys, your responses have helped me a lot. There isn't a lot of people in my life who knows exactly how this feels - everyone just thinks I should be happy that I'm pregnant and just get over it. I actually just smile and don't bother telling some people how I am really feeling, it's too awkward for some people to understand I think. Kind of like the infertility. No-one wants to hear the negative parts. People just don't know what to say.

This week has been a real kind of breakthrough for me and I am starting to plan stuff too. I had to let my work know of my maternity leave intentions today as it's only 6 weeks till I finish up - I'd kind of been in denial about that too as my work has been my other thing (other than DH) that has got me through some tough times. It's been good to have a career to focus on when the baby making wasn't going so well. So it will be weird to finish up there!!!

Thanks again and congrats to you all who have your long awaited little babies!
I really can hardly wait to meet mine!
S X