Shell, as Sarah said, I don't think this is unusual. I really didn't mind first time, but second time I did want another boy. Luckily he was a boy so I didn't have to deal with gender disappointment, but now that it looks like we won't have anymore I'm starting to feel sad about not having a girl!

I do know what you mean about the guilt, I had trouble even admitting to myself that I had a preference, I certainly couldn't tell anyone else. Because that would make it real that I had a preference and that would make me feel guilty. But having said that, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference. You'll love this child regardless of gender.

Sarah's suggestion of joining the gender disappointment group is a good one. I think you'll feel much better talking it over with other who feel the same way. Good luck with it all.