Hope your poor DD's tummy settles down soon Kelly. Maybe if you can manage frequent feeds during the day, you can push the night feeds further apart.
The 3-4 week mark is often tough, even if you're not having issues with feeding. They just tend to get very unsettled at that age and it can last several weeks. Take care of yourself
Nic - DS was the same about having to stand. Thank goodness he's finally grown out of that one - does the back in.
Holidays or baby.... good luck making that decision. Maybe take the holiday and then see how you feel about another baby? By then I'm sure your DS will be sleeping really well and you'll be ready for another 3-4 years of sleep deprivation
Hello everyone...thanks so much for all the support - great group of girls I'm going to make another appointment to talk to the early motherhood people and get some more help.
I am thinking that something has gone a bit wrong with society where the whole pg, birth and motherhood gig is so hard - we have really stuffed up as western socity I think, somewhere along the line...tribal living and raising of a family has a lot going for it! Anyway that is my wisdom for the day...
BG - I'm sorry that your DH being around is under such stressful circumstances. Thanks for sharing your story - DH says that I've been a bit like this the whole time we have been doing IVF, so I wonder if I have PND, or if like you I'm suffering depression, or maybe no to either but just struggling. Not sure.
Kelly - good luck with the transition onto the bottle - hope that Tara's belly starts to settle down soon and the feeds start to space out! I think that at this stage it is just survival - I know I was always waiting for the magical '6 wk' mark - but not sure I noticed much of a change in Archer - I think any change was gradual - so I'm not much help to you! Can your DH do one or two of the night feeds for you eg the first or last two so you can get a block of sleep? I know it is hard if DH is working, but we sort out before going to bed who will do which feed depending on how each of us feel and what is on for the next day. Are you making up the bottles before you got to bed and then just heating them up when you need them? - I know it only saves a few minutes, but those minutes all help!
BW - as usual wonderful words of wisdom - thanks
Lenny - I totally agree with you, no matter what people say, if your house being clean and your hair being done is important to you - not doing it just adds to the stress and the feelings of frustration! I guess it depends on what is important to you and what you are comfortable with...
Nic - with you on the standing thing - osteo is making a fortune from me at the moment from all the lifting, putting back down, and bending backwards to counterbalance baby! Good luck working though the whole baby/holiday prob - there are so many ifs/buts and maybes that it is hard to plan that far out!
Hello to anyone I've missed - sorry!
Got to go and figure out why DS is crying rather than sleeping - I think he likes to substitute the two during the day
FG: I'm so happy that you are going to have a chat to someone, I think it is a good idea to sometimes let everything out to someone who is not so close to the situation (ie: DH) so they can be more objective.
Re the feeding, yep I make up all her bottles before hand. I always make sure that I have almost a day's worth in the fridge every morning as Tara is not very patient waiting for her food. Generally DH will do the last night feed for me and then I do the middle of the night and depending on what time she wakes in the morning determines who will feed her, if it is about 7am DH feeds her any earlier or later then I do the feed so DH can get sleep or get ready for work. Although this week he has been no help to me as he has pulled some muscles in his back and shoulder and is in a lot of pain (although not as much as the couple of days after my c/s, but you can't tell him that) so he can't even pick Tara up at the moment. All he is able to do for me is to watch her in the morning while I have a shower and that's it. Hopefully it will start to get better soon as we have to do a big grocery shop on the weekend and he will need to do all the lifting etc. Anyway at least I know that Tara being on the bottle is working, she was weighed yesterday and has put on 300g in 9 days, so she now weighs 3.5kg .
You're absolutely right FG, there is something seriously amiss here! I won't bore you all with my theories, but I think that as a society we just don't value parenting.
Good for you getting some help - I really hope that as things settle down and you get your confidence up as a mother that things will fall into place (bit by bit).
Like KellyD, I know some of you from the LTTTC preg forum, but now graduated to here! I hope to get to know you all well.
Adam was born on the 20/10/2009 via emergency c, following 3 days of failed induction. He was a big baby, 4.47kg, and was posterior and not engaged at 40 +5 days. Anyway, my beautiful boy is here now.
Everything is going well apart form the breast feeding. I thought I was soooo prepared for it, had done so much reading and spoken to many people etc etc and was very determined to do it for all the right reasons. However, the reality for me is that it is the most excruciating experience (nipples are black and nearly falling off). I have had heaps of education and advice, and he is latching on correctly, but we are not bonding through the experience. Every time I get the confidence to go back and try, 24 hours later I am needing to take pain relief just to get me through the day. So today's feeling is that I just can't do it, it is way too traumatic for me, along with the guilt associated with not being 'able' to do it. Luckily at the moment I have plenty of milk, so I am expressing madly and topping up with formula as needed.
I have placated myself with DH's support, and know it is about survival at the end of the day. But I really wish the professionals would give you both sides of the story. In my other life, I am a breast cancer nurse counsellor, and I know from my patients point of view that they cope better when they get the good and the bad expectations so that reality is not so scary or unknown. I think the same applies here, I would have been more prepared had I known that women can have issues with the BF'ing. All I got told in hospital (even though they were fantastic) was that he wasn't latching properly....but he was. It's my nipples that's the problem.
Anyway, that's my only gripe so far!
Lovely to meet you all, and I will respond with personal's as I grasp the thread!
Hi Neptune!
Oh your nipples - you poor thing! I don't know whether you want bf advice today, but sometimes it does start like that, and yeah, they don't tell you, hey? Only that it shouldn't hurt - but it bloody well does for some people! DS took 11 weeks to get the hang of latching on properly so I wasn't in pain - despite being assured by 3 different LCs that he was attaching beautifully and my technique was perfect. Nipple shields got me through.
Anyway, expressing what you can in the meantime is a good compromise. You just do what feels right for you and your lovely little boy.
Must go, DS is playing monkeys with his auntie. so cute.
I'm going to make another appointment to talk to the early motherhood people and get some more help.
.
on Tara's weight gain - that is great and I'm so glad that ff is working for you. Good luck with getting DH repaired!
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