cry it out/controlled crying won't work when they're that young hun - all it will do is stress you both out far too much - it's not worth it. yeah, it seems that your baby is demanding - but she is just a baby - and they do get heaps better i promise! E was very similar at that age - they are learning so much, and the world seems like a big scary place! don't let people tell you to leave her cry if you don't want to, don't let them tell you to not answer her. she can't say "mummy, can i please have a cuddle" all she can do is cry. they don't cry for no reason - even if that reason is just because they're feeling a bit scared. it's trying, but it gets easier - and when they're a bit older and the only cuddles you get are the ones they decide you're entitled to - and even those ones are half hearted "you're closer to something i want to get at" cuddles... it's worth it to have them now
ooh, at around 5-6weeks, your bubba is going to go through a wonder week - a huge developmental leap - there are a lot of behaviours that go with wonder weeks - including loss of appetite or slower feeding cos they just want the comfort of having the nipple/bottle there, sleep issues, clingyness... for your early wonder weeks, it will probably only last a few days - with later ones it can be a couple of weeks of regression on a lot of things. if you can get your hands on the book "the wonder weeks" (vanderijt and plooij) you will read about the weeks and you'll see them happening. it might also help for your DH to read so that he understands. my copy arrived when DD was coming up to her week 12 WW and i watched her going through things as i was reading about them - it's fairly accurate - and simple to read!
gotta go - bbl - DD has decided that watching daddy cook isn't cutting it!
Oh yes, well said BG!
Your baby is just being a baby and when you cuddle her to soothe her you are just being a mummy .
Sorry to hear you're all alone - that is really tough!
As for going out with her - you might find she's quiet and happy when out, but then a screaming mess at home. At that age they can get really overwhelmed with new places & experiences and the stress builds up in them until they're somewhere they feel safe (ie, at home in mum's arms) and then they let it all out! Hope you have a nice lunch.
Thanks for your words of wisdom BG and Marcellus, it is a relief to know that what we are experiencing is normal.
I've ordered the book as you advised, just checking out the website says that the first wonder week is at 5 weeks (sometimes 4) so would seem to fit perfectly where we are at. Luckily Belly Belly had the book in stock so hopefully will get very soon to know about all the changes expected over the next year or so. Finally managed to get Tara to sleep and in her cot as well, hopefully she has a good nights sleep.
Hi everyone and welcome to all the newcomers.. and congratulations!
I haven't been on for a long time. Just busy with life stuff and avoiding some things on here which I've struggled with.
I've read back quite a few pages but can't remember who was saying what!
RE the feeding thing: I too couldnt believe how difficult it was and why nobody tells you it probably will be! DD was very small and tired and wouldnt attach properly. I was really struggling with trying to attach, ending up EBM feeding then getting the pumping done and washed up for the next feed while trying to deal with visitors EVERY DAY for 2 weeks. These were visitors to DD not the kind who come and do your washing or dishes for you! Anyhow we got there in the end with a bit of an intervention at the hospital when I readmitted to sort it out. Feedlines, nipple shields etc aaaarrrgh, so glad that's in the past. It's terrible the pressure people feel to get it right! I was very lucky that I had great supply but I did really struggle again when DD decided to wean after my cycle returned. It took 6weeks of biting and tears before I realised she was serious, we both dreaded feeds and I thought "It's not meant to be like this". I was extremely sad but once I made the decision to wean I was quite relieved that we could go back to enjoying feed time.
As for positive/negative comments: I'm in a small town also, and only one MCHN who is a negative type, always focussing on a problem, not the good things. It wasnt till I took Celeste for her 18month check and got a fill in that I heard lots of positive things about what I've been doing for her and how her development was. She even down played one or two negative things that the other woman would have concentrated on. It was so refreshing and I came away actually feeling really proud of us both! I have been amazed by the rudeness of some people though who feel the right to say whatever they like, without invitation.
I also have no family here, and most friends are busy with their own children or working so that I have only just started to have time away from Celeste in the past couple of months (after 18months of age) by leaving her at a family day care lady we know, one morning a fortnight. It's been good for both of us. Since then I have returned to work part time, in the evenings, and DH is having to do the parenting thing on his own those nights too so he has a better understanding of what I "cope with" usually.
I too, put a lot of pressure on myself with what I expect regarding parenting and the household etc. In the early weeks C had terrible colic for up to 6hours an evening till aged about 10weeks. It was very hard as I couldnt put her down, + dh couldt help. I certainly understand and feel for those of you with a screaming baby, it sends the stress levels to new heights!!!! I felt I had had a good day if the nappies got washed and hung out and the dishwasher was run. It was hard to go out in public. As she got older I found other times more challenging in some ways but easier in others. Now she is an active almost 22month old and I still struggle to get things done some days! I can hardly believe she is that same person as all those months ago.
As for sleep: C slept sooo much as a new baby and I thought it was my reward for the terrible early weeks! We did have some tough times though around 3 to 6months and again after 12months. She still wakes 2 or more times a night whereas she slept through for months at a time in her first year!
Celeste has recently decided to begin toilet training, halfheartedly. She has had some success but is taking things very slowly. We are enjoying tantrums every day but also some of the most angelic, beautiful behaviour too: She recently began saying "Luff you"
Her language is booming and it's so much fun having real conversations with her being able to tell me things she is thinking about, remembering or feeling. She even did a re-enactment for DH of when she had a massive stack on a gravel driveway, saying "fall, floor, sore, sad" and doing an over dramatised fall down. Hillarious!!!
Gosh I've blabbed on there, sorry! For those struggling with feeding, sleep or crying babies, take heart! It will get easier. You will look back and wonder how you got through it and be amazed at how far you have come.
I'm planning on making a more regular visit now so I hope to BBsoon!
I've been reading, but not in the right headspace to say much. I can empathise with those having sleeping troubles - Sam's been very on/off with his day sleeps, but I've found most things pass with time, so hang in there.
Anyway, mostly just wanted to say hi to Sazz - long time no see, but so good to see you back again.
I can't believe my little boy will be one month tomorrow! I can definitely feel some pressure lifting and perhaps a pattern emerging which is wonderful, and a little bit more confidence in reading his cues and responding. Still struggling with the breast feeding, but still expressing and he is getting probably 50% breast milk and 50% formula. He is thriving, so the guilt is slowly dissipating. Not sure whether my milk is starting to dry up, but I only need to express now every 4 to 5 hours rather than every 2, but getting much more volume this way anyway. Anyway, both me and Adam are happier at the moment. I've got him in the sling at the mo which is a bonus as it leaves my hands free to get stuff done!
Sleeping so far I can't complain. He goes down to sleep anywhere between 8pm to 10pm and is awake 4 to 5 hours later, then another 3 hours after that. I hope this continues for a while as I feel reasonably well rested, but I know I shouldn't get m,y hopes up that this is a pattern.
Struggling a bit with the enormity of the whole thing and not being able to get much done, so trying to accept that I just can't do what I want to do (God, I know how selfish that sounds, but it's the truth). Just to get in the shower for 5 minutes is heaven.
Love to all, still trying to get to know you all, I will catch up.
Neptune: Good to hear that Adam is thriving on both B/M and formula. Hope you can get things sorted soon so you can start to feel more normal, although if Adam goes through this first growth stage like Tara is at the moment you won't have any time to yourself.
BG are you out there???? Another question about these wonder weeks. Tara has now become so clingy that she will not sleep unless she is being held by either me or DH. And with DH working it is coming down to me all day and also during the nights. I currently have her in a baby carrier at the moment and she has been asleep for about 1 1/2 hours, the only other time she slept today was in the car when I went into town (1hr round trip). She was even unsettled in her pram and was only content when we were moving. How did you manage this at the same age with E?? I have found that having a shower consist of her being in her cot screaming, if I didn't leave her then I would never get a chance to shower at all. Last night she had a good sleep of 4 hours in her cot, but after her feed, she only slept for about 45mins and when she stirred she realised I wasn't there and the screaming started, this only stopped when I went to her and picked her up. At 6.30 this morning I was so tired I put her in bed with us and she was happy to sleep so long as she was tucked up against me. When DH got up I moved to get more comfortable which broke the touch and bang.... awake screaming her head off. I think all up today before this sleep on me she has slept for a total of 1 1/2 hours from 8.30am - 4.30pm. I would have thought she would be exhausted and just crash anywhere, but no luck..
Sorry for the huge me post, I'm just really looking for ideas to get through this 1st transition period without going insane.
in all honesty, i went with it. if she wanted to be close, i let her be close. i co slept with her for those really bad nights (cos the couple of times i didn't, and got to sleep at 6, only to be woken at 8, didn't leave me a happy lady!). when i was cosleeping though, as soon as she was in a deep sleep, i would move her just away from me, so she was nearby, but not right beside me. DH was working away at the time, so i had no at-home support - i just did what i could. showers - well, i'd have them when i could. usually in the early hours of the morning when i got her back into a deep sleep, i'd jump in the shower. sometimes she'd end up crying, but not allways. we have an ensuite so i would hear if she got worked up. it's not ideal, but it works. now she has showers with DH rather than baths, so we all tend to shower at the same time, then she has a feed and off to sleep...
i survived using the mantra "this too shall pass"...
ETA - DD's wonder week antics really DO only last a week or so - that early one was only about four or five days - so it does pass quickly hun.
and when you cuddle her to soothe her you are just being a mummy 
.
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