Hi everyone and welcome to all the newcomers.. and congratulations!

I haven't been on for a long time. Just busy with life stuff and avoiding some things on here which I've struggled with.

I've read back quite a few pages but can't remember who was saying what!
RE the feeding thing: I too couldnt believe how difficult it was and why nobody tells you it probably will be! DD was very small and tired and wouldnt attach properly. I was really struggling with trying to attach, ending up EBM feeding then getting the pumping done and washed up for the next feed while trying to deal with visitors EVERY DAY for 2 weeks. These were visitors to DD not the kind who come and do your washing or dishes for you! Anyhow we got there in the end with a bit of an intervention at the hospital when I readmitted to sort it out. Feedlines, nipple shields etc aaaarrrgh, so glad that's in the past. It's terrible the pressure people feel to get it right! I was very lucky that I had great supply but I did really struggle again when DD decided to wean after my cycle returned. It took 6weeks of biting and tears before I realised she was serious, we both dreaded feeds and I thought "It's not meant to be like this". I was extremely sad but once I made the decision to wean I was quite relieved that we could go back to enjoying feed time.

As for positive/negative comments: I'm in a small town also, and only one MCHN who is a negative type, always focussing on a problem, not the good things. It wasnt till I took Celeste for her 18month check and got a fill in that I heard lots of positive things about what I've been doing for her and how her development was. She even down played one or two negative things that the other woman would have concentrated on. It was so refreshing and I came away actually feeling really proud of us both! I have been amazed by the rudeness of some people though who feel the right to say whatever they like, without invitation.

I also have no family here, and most friends are busy with their own children or working so that I have only just started to have time away from Celeste in the past couple of months (after 18months of age) by leaving her at a family day care lady we know, one morning a fortnight. It's been good for both of us. Since then I have returned to work part time, in the evenings, and DH is having to do the parenting thing on his own those nights too so he has a better understanding of what I "cope with" usually.

I too, put a lot of pressure on myself with what I expect regarding parenting and the household etc. In the early weeks C had terrible colic for up to 6hours an evening till aged about 10weeks. It was very hard as I couldnt put her down, + dh couldt help. I certainly understand and feel for those of you with a screaming baby, it sends the stress levels to new heights!!!! I felt I had had a good day if the nappies got washed and hung out and the dishwasher was run. It was hard to go out in public. As she got older I found other times more challenging in some ways but easier in others. Now she is an active almost 22month old and I still struggle to get things done some days! I can hardly believe she is that same person as all those months ago.

As for sleep: C slept sooo much as a new baby and I thought it was my reward for the terrible early weeks! We did have some tough times though around 3 to 6months and again after 12months. She still wakes 2 or more times a night whereas she slept through for months at a time in her first year!

Celeste has recently decided to begin toilet training, halfheartedly. She has had some success but is taking things very slowly. We are enjoying tantrums every day but also some of the most angelic, beautiful behaviour too: She recently began saying "Luff you"

Her language is booming and it's so much fun having real conversations with her being able to tell me things she is thinking about, remembering or feeling. She even did a re-enactment for DH of when she had a massive stack on a gravel driveway, saying "fall, floor, sore, sad" and doing an over dramatised fall down. Hillarious!!!

Gosh I've blabbed on there, sorry! For those struggling with feeding, sleep or crying babies, take heart! It will get easier. You will look back and wonder how you got through it and be amazed at how far you have come.

I'm planning on making a more regular visit now so I hope to BBsoon!

Sazz