Pregnancy after Long Term TTC #5 - 2009

[Loveinamist]

Hello!

Azzranae - well done! Must be so good to have them this side!! Hope you are able to get lots of snuggles while they are being incubated!

Saph - I hear you about the name thing when a teacher. I was a teacher (until this July!!!) and there are just too many names that carry too much significance. I have a list as long as my arm and about three hundred other people's arms of names that are DEFINITELY out! Made boys names sooo difficult. I used to love Jack and Thomas as they were my Grandmother's brothers names and although I never met them, she spoke about them so affectionately but then I started teaching and it was almost like a scientific law that a Jack or Tom was going to be in there with the naughtiest bunch. Interestingly enough I read about a study that was done in America where random teachers were given the same paper to mark however with different names. The papers with 'different' names or names that were not spelt in the ordinary way were marked down even though they contained basically the same content. I can see that happening though as much as we would hope it wouldn't. I am sure though that every teacher has that moment when they get their class roll for the new year and see a couple of names and think 'OH no here we go!!' I have to admit though I have never been wrong about that unfortunately!!

BTW in both countries I have taught in I have never had a naughty Xavier! And I like the traditional spelling. I am a bit of a stickler for that though. I believe we need to think of our kids having job interviews and official meetings later in life and sometimes conformity is a blessing. I also believe strongly that I want my child to be remembered for the strong impression he/she gave to people because of their individual personality and beautiful nature rather than because they had an unusual name. That is just my opinion though!!

Grub- Damn about DH being away. I hate my DH working nights these days let alone leaving for a more than a week! Has he had lots of kick action though from bubs? That is the biggest thing I would resent DH missing (as well as the supporting of his poor vulnerable pregnant wife of course!) I hope you have some great girly time with your sister to make up for it.

Persephone - hope those symptoms settle down soon. Good luck with the scan! Oh and poor DH!

Neptune - good luck with the natural methods for induction. My DH has already been warned he may be needed for nipple stimulation if I go over (I know it is early but I have been thinking of my birth plan) and his face when I said it!!! LOL!!!

Murph - I hope like Kelly said that they decide early about your c-section so you don't waste time and energy labouring. Good luck! I am going to look into slippery elm as well as it sounds great that you are now sleeping!

Kelly- Hope the wait is not too much longer!

Everyone else belly rubs!! Pregnancy brain is taking over and I am getting confused looking back over posts and keeping up. I am thinking of you all though.


AFM- Doctor sent me a prescription for iron supplements as I am slightly anaemic. I am vegequarium (my version of don't eat meat but eat fish!!) so I am going to increase my intake of eggs and fish and see if that helps. Bubs is really active now and responds to touch and us talking to him so makes it fun in the evening playing games with my belly. (I think I have already told you girls that! Damn pregnancy brain or my life is sooo boring that that is the only thing I talk about!!) We finally got a car. Nice family car with 5 doors so we don't have to lean over seats to get the baby in the carseat! Paid more than we wanted but we reasoned the reason we have had so many disasters is because we keep buying cheap cars!

[Neptune]

Yay Azzenrae!!! Congrats on the arrival of Harper and Cody - welcome little men!!!!

Poppyfairy - had to laugh at vegaquariam!!!!!

hey to all, hands very bad today.

Off for some acupuncture to try and get this party started.

[TaRhLi.]

Congrats Azz on the early but safe arrival of your little boys. It is good that they are both doing so well and hopefully will grow nice and strong for you to take them home soon.

O.K girls I need some advice, DH told me last night that his mother has decided that she wants her grandparent name to be "Mum Mum". Well I baulked at that one as I am going to be this little ones mother and she only has one. DH doesn't seem to think it is a problem as that is what he and his brother called their mum's mother, although I'm sure if I told him that baby was going to call someone else Dad he wouldn't like it. So how am I suppose to get this resolved, I have been up half the night stewing over the best resolution and can only think of either:

That if he wants baby to call his Mother, mum then what am I to be called or
He can refer to his mum in that way but there is no way I can so I will only refer to her by her name.

As my mum & dad have been grandparents for 22 years they are known as Nanna & Grandad, but there are other options available that don't diminish there importance without having to be known by the name that I have waited so long to hear be said to me.

What would you all do, I just don't know how to approach this and with only 3 more days until she is here this is the last thing I need.

[Loveinamist]

Congrats Azz on the early but safe arrival of your little boys. It is good that they are both doing so well and hopefully will grow nice and strong for you to take them home soon.

O.K girls I need some advice, DH told me last night that his mother has decided that she wants her grandparent name to be "Mum Mum". Well I baulked at that one as I am going to be this little ones mother and she only has one. DH doesn't seem to think it is a problem as that is what he and his brother called their mum's mother, although I'm sure if I told him that baby was going to call someone else Dad he wouldn't like it. So how am I suppose to get this resolved, I have been up half the night stewing over the best resolution and can only think of either:

That if he wants baby to call his Mother, mum then what am I to be called or
He can refer to his mum in that way but there is no way I can so I will only refer to her by her name.

As my mum & dad have been grandparents for 22 years they are known as Nanna & Grandad, but there are other options available that don't diminish there importance without having to be known by the name that I have waited so long to hear be said to me.

What would you all do, I just don't know how to approach this and with only 3 more days until she is here this is the last thing I need.

Now that is a dilemma! I have never heard of a grandparent being called that but if that is your DH's family tradition you are going to have a fight on your hands. The only compromise I can think of is you referring to her as 'Mum mum sarah/joan/sally' or whatever her name is. Then you are making a distinction from you. Will you be Mummy while they are little? That might make it a little more different for you as well.

Honestly though it is a bit of a bugger. Maybe you could make a point of pronouncing it wrongly like MomMom and just plead ignorance saying you had never heard of a grandparent being called that so you just assumed it was American or foreign!!! LOL! Or secretly encourage your child to call them Nanna and they will be so enchanted with them saying it when they do, they hopefully won't care! Like when kids have their own name for grandparents and they stick like 'grams' or 'grum grum' or like my cousin's children who call their grandmother 'looley' because her name was Lucy and the first child couldn't say it and it just stuck.

Those were all the compromising ideas I have. Personally though I would be extremely p###d off about the whole thing. I have already had a grumble about this one with my DH. He wants his mother to be Grandma and I have always had Nannas. She is already being called Nanna by her first grandchild so I just stuck my guns (without asking her opinion although she was a part of the conversation!!!) and said 'well that settles that then. Our child will call her Nanna too, won't he!' End of conversation! Admittedly my situation was a lot easier than yours.

Good luck!

[Murph01]

I'm going to do updates later, but Kelly just wanted to let you know I'm in your corner and after a bit of gentle persuasion (he always comes round to seeing sense), so is my DH, after discussing it with him. He could see your side but then thought it wouldn't be a problem for him until I reminded him that if he had to share Dad Dad with my Dad instead of Dad being Pop, it would take something away from him being Dad. He thought there was a distinction but babies will say "Mum Mum", "Dad Dad" for Mum and Dad too won't they, that's how they learn (even Mum Mum Mum!) It's your DH's family tradition but it's not yours and it's quite an imposition to lay that one on you. You tell DH from the sistahood....not happy Jan! Mum is your title, you've worked bloody hard for it and while lots of things don't matter, this one certainly does. Hang in there, this is ultimately one for your DH to back you up on and support your decision and for him to sort out with his mother. You relax and don't stress.

[grub17]

oh kellyD, men are truly idiots aren't they! i'm with poppyfairy and murph. I would be saying absolutely no way. this is OUR family and I AM the ONLY mother, mum, mum-mum or otherwise. His mother has had her turn... it's yours now!

i'd also suggest pointing out that your brother/father etc should be called DadDad then. I bet he won't go for that one!

I'd sit down with him and calmly point out why you don't wish this name for your MIL - your are the mother; you feel its robbing you of your hard fought for title and name; it's not your family tradition - you can start a new one with a new name; a baby would not be able to distinguish betwee the two.

If he is not open to your point of view, I would just start referring to her as "grandmother'' or 'grandma'. It's hers and DH's problem. and if MIL says somehing or Dh 'corrects' you in front of her i'd calmly say "i believe I am so-and-so's mother''.

Or say "MIL didn't carry bub for 9 mths and birth the baby so she hasn't earnt that right''.

oohhh i'm cranky for you lovey.

hi to all - so glad its the weekend except DH leaves 10am tomorrow. all i had to do was look at him this arvo and i burst into tears. am feeling very sad and alone atm
oh and my mother has decided to grace me with her presence while dh is away "to make sure i'm okay". could be more trouble that its worth, she can be a very painful, precious person sometimes.

[Persephone1]

KellyD, the MumMum thing freaks me out. Blegh, I don't like that. I think it's creepy. Tell her that she doesn't actually get to decide that without you agreeing. YOU'RE Mum, not HER! GL with explaining it to DH. We have several grandmothers in our family (same-sex relationships make for lots of Nanna's!), but everyone is Nanna and then her name - so, like 'Nanna Judy,' etc.

Anyway, I can't do any more persies (except Smithy, I love the belly pics!) because I'm I'm 6 weeks pregnant today and the MS has kicked in with vengeance. And my nipples could get me a starring role in a porno I have to go and lie down now...but I love being sick! (Please don't remind me that I said that later).

BBL.
Seph