Hey BOC, just got a minute before Jasmine discovers no milk is gonna come out of her doll's foot and turn a bit cranky

that's quite a serious dilemma. Sometimes you have to get the situation really calm and absolutely make your needs clear to your DH. He must care or you wouldn't be with him, but sometimes people are so set in their ways or convinced things will come round in the end that they just don't hear you. So in no uncertain terms, I would be saying"this is really important to me" and anything less is a deal breaker.

I just had an issue with my MIL suddenly deciding her new husband is to be called Grandpa...no way, never, not gonna happen. He will be known by his own name and nothing that links him to our child. He's not even a father, let alone our father. I felt like DH wasn't that in my corner and maybe thinking I was being nasty because I don't respect his mum for the way she raised him (neglected him). I think with the weight of support from the girls I talked to on BB I faced him down and told him how important it was to me. He's not known for being difficult but I needed his total support unreservedly. He ended up saying, he doesn't necessarily understand or agree but he knows it is important to me and he will support my decision fully. we also got to the bottom of some issues of outrage I have with his mother and it was a healthy exercise, I will never understand or forgive her for the way she raised DH and he knows that she and I are so diabolically opposed in the way we make decisions. I value the mother role above all else in life and can't understand her at all, but anyway, it's so nice that he respects that I won't budge on this issue. I hope that you are able to make your DH really "hear" how important this is to you. Consider your words and your voice and really get through to him on the right level and he will come around.

by the way, i am not ignoring my poor deluded little girl, i am now multitasking (again)

in my experience with my c/s, i had no idea what day it was when i had my first visitors and it was only looking back at photos that i realise my mum and sister came up to see us only hours later. in my case, i am so close to them and discussed it with dh before hand that he could make the decision at the time depending on how he felt. so they were very discreet, the kids were left at the hotel (as they were visiting from out of town) and they just popped in for a quick cuddle and congrats. Jasmine and Idid the latching thing and crawl in recovery and dh spent more time bonding with her than me because he spent all night doing the nurse's job wheeling her back and forth between the special care unit and the ward. it's a time when you need that peace of mind to know that your wishes are respected and you can relax.

by the way girls, you should be warned that those pesky midwives come around at any time of the day or night the whole time you are in hospital to see how you are latching, etc,so prepare for the booby show! i hated it and it nearly did my head in, but if you expect it you can deal with it better and don't come out swinging like i nearly did. there were so many of them and it would shoo your visitors away when you just wanted to be with them and i was much better with just dh and i, relaxed and alone as usual. i'm totally the same, can't perform under pressure,but i'm a champ at the discreet feed now (even in front of my crusty old dad)

well i broke my record for shortest post lastnight so it's to be expected that i offload another novel of a post good luck with that conversation BOC