Hi girls!

Sorry its been so long but I have been going through "stuff". I only have a couple of weeks to go and my pelvis is not holding up to good In lots of pain and can hardly walk. On top of that our house was only half way unpacked and i had an INSANE burst of nesting. I was seriously FREAKING OUT and could not bare the thought of bringing home lil Blue to a house that wasnt totally unpacked and perfect. I have settled a little and realise that I am not going to be able to paint the lounge and sunroom in this condition lol. I have accepted that and have contented myself with getting the nursery and getting every damn box done.

I have also been going through a bit of depression. I keep crying all the time and have had some very negative thoughts and feelings... its so weird because i love this baby so very much and am excited to meet him, actually the feelings about the baby, its more about DH. I sometimes feel intense ... anger? or something because I am scared to be vulnerable after the baby comes. I am not even explaining it properly. He has done NOTHING WRONG at all, its just me. I have spoken to my dr about it and he said its pre-natal depression and caused by hormones. Most of the time I am ok but then I have days when i am really low. Its kinda scary. Anyway reaching out and telling people is important aparently. At least now the doc is aware of it as is DH and my friends so they are all going to keep a close eye on me after Blue is here because I will most probably get post-natal depression as well

Sorry to be such a drainer. I hope you all dont mind me talking about this but as we all know, sometimes life is not always a bed of roses. It really does help to just get it out there and not be ashamed to admit it.
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Big hugs to everyone,

Sammiejam
However, I am feeling good today the sunshine is helping