hello my bellies <3

cravings Ive had included raw potatoes... chocolate.. curry.. red rooster and sweet things

TBH I have to admit I think Im getting a little bit of anti natal depression.. I really wanted to avoid it this time its so awful every day feels like such a drag and you start to have all these really bad thoughts about everything everyone and every situation

I had it with DS for the last couple months of my pregnancy but I only feel like Ive started to feel this way the past week or so. Its an odd feeling.. Like your always alone and restless.. wanting to get out but at the same time couldnt be bothered doing anything.. feel like you have no friends and no one cares even when they are constantly getting in touch with you and catching up. I feel so intensly needy and mopey all the time and heavy and unable to move.. Like this big fat whale that sits on the couch all day and cant do anything for herself.. iTS PROBABLY JUST A REFLECTION OF BEING FED UP WITH BEING (oops caps) pregnant and wanting things to move along.. being unable to drive or walk anywhere and not having anyone to take me out (dh cant drive) and unmotivated to get out of the house even tho im sick of the four walls, trying to deal with my toddler alone while DH is at work while finding it so hard to because im so uncomfortable and tired.. and just all round over it and wanting to get my body and my life back. Im always a very restless kind of person and I like to keep my life busy with different things (work/kids/ friends/ errands/ outings etc etc) but these last weeks ive given all of it up and am just at home twiddling my thumbs.. Im willing to bet its exactly why Ive come crashing down with such a miserable mood.

Im so glad I can vent on this forum.. sorry to bring the mood down I could really use some feedback if anyone has any suggestions on good ways to shake off depression for these last couple weeks I have to continue to live this way ?? I dnt know.. I really dnt wanna have to talk to a social worker or counsellor because I hate the feeling they give me like Im being put on the spot questioned and then lectured on what I need to do by a complete stranger.. Ironically Im tsaying this to complete strangers but this is different.. I feel more in touch with mumto bes on here then some counsellor that I know is only talking to me because its there job..

And I dont really see how I can try to "keep myself busy" which is what would work really.. because I just dnt have it in me anymore to walk 3 km just to get out to dinner or shops of a friends place for a coffee. I really wish DH drove at this point so he could take me out somewhere. He really wants to but again, Im not up for walking and what is he gonna do carry me? lol. I dnt want to start bugging my friends to whisk me out because I already bug them enough to come over and do things with me and after a while I just start to feel so needy.

wow this is long and probably getting a little on the repetative/boreing side.. So ill stop it there.. I just figure some of you can understand what it feels like so I dnt feel so crazy and alone with all these funny emotions.. Fingers crossed bubs pops out of me real soon

OH and BTW lil miss Im sending you big labour vibes today hope to catch u all soon <3 Ky