Yogi, I fear that anything I say will just be a repeat of what the ladies have said above. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find some peace and a way forward very soon.

You have every right to kick, scream, cry, throw, basically just let it out however you see fit. I have been guilty of many a tantrum over out TTC journey when it all got a bit much. Your wonderful DH will understand. But I think that the idea of counselling is a good one, you need someone to help you process all the things you are feeling.

As for your mum, I have always been of the mindset that we can't change people around us - and trying to just makes us more upset. Throughout our whole journey DH and I have just made sure we only let "let in" the people who were genuinely there for us. And in some cases that meant we shut out family members, but in the end it was easier for us than to deal with people that would make us feel worse (albeit unintentionally).

Keep coming back to talk to us Yogi, we truly do care and understand.

xx