Thanks everyone for your replies.

Madb- you're right, I guess I'm of two minds as to whether I should have another, and my hesitation is a lot to do with the small age gap. It feels ridiculous to be thinking about having another baby when I already have a little baby now.

I'm also torn between thinking another member of our family would be perfect, but knowing that my two boys could have a better standard of living if we don't have another. I would love to be able to take them on overseas holidays, send them to private schools etc, this would be tough enough now, but it becomes so much less likely if we have three.

Dh may not be as opposed as I think, he said we can have a talk about it on the weekend. He wanted to wait till ds2 is six months before we discuss it. I'm hoping talking it over with him might clarify things a bit.

I also shudder at the thought of what I might be letting myself in for going through fertility treatment again, that's a huge put off. Plus the risk of miscarrying again, morning sickness, worrying about the 12 week scan, the 20 week scan, the birth, the first three months! Just thinking about it is exhausting.

I still feel very confused, but I think the drive to procreate is most likely to win out in the end I actually think I'm confused because I kind of know I'm going to push ahead and do it when I think it's not a sensible or rational thing to do, and I worry about having regrets if it doesn't work out (if I can't get pg again, or if we lose a baby).

Thanks for the advice girls

HB xxx