Registered User
Thanks guys.
I think what is annoying me too is that people keep telling me that I'll probably fall pregnant naturally now that I've done IVF.And whilst that is a lovely romantic notion, it's unlikely to happen as my fallopian tubes are so blocked they might as well not be there.
Good to know I'm not alone xxxx
Oh I know! It's so frustrating. Everyone has a story of "someone I know went through IVF then fell pregnant naturally" so therefore they think that will happen to me. It invalidates the experience and suggests that the previous LTTTC journey was "just one of those things."
I think what is annoying me too is that people keep telling me that I'll probably fall pregnant naturally now that I've done IVF.
Registered User
Ah... those same people who tell you to go on a holiday and you will probably come back pregnant? UghOh I know! It's so frustrating. Everyone has a story of "someone I know went through IVF then fell pregnant naturally" so therefore they think that will happen to me. It invalidates the experience and suggests that the previous LTTTC journey was "just one of those things."
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
....Or get really drunk, that'll do the trick
I'm with Seph, I try to remember that we all have our 'things'.
And it is amazing to think that people can just get pregnant - never happened to me.
Registered User
I hear that ALL THE TIME! Drives me crazy, and I'm not even a LTTTCer. Arrrghh! It's because you never hear the stories of people it *didn't* happen to, because, well, that's not a story, that's just what happens.Oh I know! It's so frustrating. Everyone has a story of "someone I know went through IVF then fell pregnant naturally" so therefore they think that will happen to me. It invalidates the experience and suggests that the previous LTTTC journey was "just one of those things."
I'm not really in the same crowd, but we did have a bit of a journey to get here, and I also struggle with pregnancy announcements sometimes. Sometimes I don't, but very often I do.
Registered User
I often feel the emotions on the otherside of the coin. The guilt of being pregnant. It took us 13 years to conceive DD so I know the pain & heart ache of LTTTC and felt guilty my turn finally arrived. I HAD a dear friend that was TTC for 2 years we would talk / vent about every 2nd day or so, share any info we found on fertility we thought would help us, be there for each other through painful investigations ect... Then I fell pregn with DD & I could see how hurt she was. stopped venting to me, calling me all of our usual 'be-there-for-each-other' times. Then when I reached the 2nd tri, She just completely wiped me as a friend all together.
This time I fell pregn with DD2 a little too easily and the 1st thing I felt was pure guilt for all the LTTTC I have/had, and feared telling them.
I do however feel anger towards those who fall pregnant so easily who I think don't deserve to have children. I'm sure you all know the type I mean.
Registered User
You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. Especially since it's not just petty jealousy like wanting your friends new car, but complete justified jealousy-for wanting a family!
A good friend of mine, we grew up together, graduated together, got married 2 months apart, started TTC together, she fell PG and now she is due valentines day! I was happy when she told me she was 8 weeks along, but i had just found out that i would need help to fall PG and i couldn't talk to her anymore. She called and called and i just kept making excuses. But I finally spoke to her and told her the troubles I was having TTC and she realised why I hadn't called.
It is very hard to be happy for someone who achieves something you so desperately want, so easily.
Yeah, pregnancy comes with its share of baggage whether it took 1 month or 10 years to fall pregnant. I've had one miscarriage (from a freak natural pregnancy just after I had an HSG to try to unblock my tubes), some people have several. We were lucky to have IVF work first time, I know that some people have to do it many many times.
Pregnancy was the most mentally challenging thing I've ever been through in my life. I had a fairly "easy" pregnancy - was sick as a dog but I quite liked that, it was reassuring but I was stressed out of my box every day thinking that something was going to go wrong. And not once in my pregnancy did I ever take for granted that I would be taking home a baby at the end of it. Hell, I didn't buy anything until I was 35 weeks and even then I was scared I'd have to return it. It wasn't nice spending the 9 months in that state of fear. I hope that if(when) I get pregnant again I can enjoy that pregnancy more.
As for the comments from others, when we were in the midst of our IVF cycle, DH received a text message from his mother to ask us why we were even bothering with "that IVF" as it's expensive and she doesn't actually know anyone that it's worked for (WTF?) and that we should just "get stuck into that nice Aussie wine"
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Sue x
Registered User
You're definitely not alone. Two years on and it still hurts. Probably because the state of my health means that more children isn't going to be an option.Thanks guys.
I think what is annoying me too is that people keep telling me that I'll probably fall pregnant naturally now that I've done IVF.
Good to know I'm not alone xxxx
I also get really mad about the "you'll probably fall naturally now" comments. It does completely invalidate what you've been through. People tell me that my body knows what to do now that I've carried and birthed one child. Hmmm... don't think that has any influence on DH's mutant sperm or the fact that I needed three different drugs to sustain a pregnancy (and am now only taking one of them) and the fact that my arthritis is so bad that I have to take medications that are so scary in pregnancy (category X) that even knowing about the infertility issues that both me and DH have, both my OB and my rheumy insisted that I go on the pill. Yeah, it will happen naturally now. Sure.
Don't mean to take over with my own vent, but you are most definitely not alone!
BW
You're not taking over at all hun, kind of why I started the thread in the first place - I KNOW that you girls know what I'm on about!
Registered User
The whole "your body knows what to do now" argument is really hurtful. Clearly, my body doesn't. I had a "friend", who I shared with after TTC for three cycles. She asked "OMG, what's wrong with you?". Great... it's made me not want to talk about TTC, or our plans for more kids, with anyone. My family is forever asking us when are we going to give DD1 a playmate, and I always say we aren't, just because I know how insensitive they would be if they found out.
Registered User
Hi Ladies,
So glad to hear that I am not alone on this one! I too feel the jealously monster rear its ugly head when hearing of anyone falling pregnant
I still keep a watchful eye on the LTTTC and 2WW threads - I'm not really sure why, I just do. I guess LTTTC really never leaves you???
Oh, and I so so agree with the whole you'll get pregnant naturally next time thing! We are lucky enough to have 5 frozen bubs and have decided to not tell anyone (bar family) when we try for our second - it's just too much pressure and I kinda want to have the experience of being able to surprise everyone that we are pregnant like normal people instead of them constantly asking how the IVF is going!
oxoxo
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