Another good point, Shannon, about how it affects our DH's. My DH insisted on an obstetrician, something I was indifferent too until I started 'catching' his fear and believed that an ob would 'monitor' our pregnancy more.
DH also initially wanted me to have a c/s but I was never going to agree to that, and in time, he understood that I was choosing a method that was in fact safer for us (and it's actually safer for baby too, not just mum, btw, and there is quite a lot of evidence behind that).
It was the same with BFing - he couldn't understand why I was insisting on continuing to BF when my nipples were cracked and I was in so much pain. But to me, I wanted Charlie to have the best of me (and TBH I probably put way too much pressure on myself to be this 'perfect' mum) but the upside is I ended up having a great BFing relationship with my son despite the rocky start, and my DH, as a result, is madly pro-BFing now. Lol!
ETA also to clarify my own position: I am not particularly pro-VB, in that I don't believe a VB is the 'only' way. When I had my 3 older kids, I had a VB because I thought only if it was a medical emergency, would a woman have a c/s. And tbh, back then it was probably pretty true (esp in the public system). My first child, my DD, was incredibly precious to me, yet I never had (or was given) any doubts over about a VB being the best way to deliver my baby safely. Not like it is these days, when women (not just LTers) routinely are either led to believe, or have formed a personal opinion, that a VB will somehow put their baby are more risk than a c/s. But, like I've said before, is simply not true or supported by evidence.
When I fell pregnant to Charlie, I had actually read tonnes and tonnes of stuff here on BB. I now knew you could 'request' a c/s for no medical reason, I even got the impression that a c/s was considered safer by many who were posting (including my ob). But the more I read, the more I realised it wasn't true, VBs were safer. The evidence is undisputed. It made me feel better for not wanting a c/s and wanting a VB - I was doing what was safer for my baby after all.
So now when I read that women wish to have a c/s because it's a 'safer' option, I get confused. Where does that idea come from? The obs? Or does it come from the woman's lack of belief in herself?
If a VB is safer, how do we get the message through to women? How do we ensure that they know that their safest option is not to have a c/s?
Because it's all topsy turvy now. Women, esp LTTTCers are having c/s in order to 'ensure' their precious babies are safe, but the reality is their babies are statistically LESS safe with a c/s. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm not pro-VB, I'm pro-IVFers, and trying to get discussion going as to what it is that makes us choose c/s over and over again, citing that it's safer for us and our babies, when it's not true?
Last edited by sushee; October 20th, 2008 at 01:13 PM.
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