I'm having one of those days where I'm convinced that we are going to miscarry again.

I had a day like this 2 weeks ago and ended up at the Dr's getting a BT and ultrasound, both of which were reassuring - for about 2 days! I stopped studying the toilet paper everytime I wiped and even started to refer to it as "blobby" as that is what it looked like on the scan.

But in the last few days I've noticed my ms hasn't been nearly as bad. It seems to hit mostly at night as I'm going to bed, but nowhere near as bad as it was last Tuesday when it was at it's worst. My boobs are feeling pretty much normal, although that said I am getting a few aches in them as I type. I'm also getting a dull ache in my abdomen, but I have had that since the start. I am so scared that this one is a missed mc like the first one and that my symptoms are going away as my HcG drops.

I have my first (and I suspect my last) appointment with my Ob on Friday, but that seems so far away. I guess I just need some reassurance that it will be OK. That everything I am experiencing is completely normal etc etc. I am so scared that we are going to lose this one as well. I have actually been thinking that if I do lose it, that we are done. Desperately as I want another baby, is it fair to put myself and DH through all of the stress and worry. Is it God telling me my family is complete? I hate to burden DH with all of this (again) as I know that he is as worried as I am and there is nothing either he or I can do at this stage to (what I think is) delay the inevetable.

Aaaaaaaagggggghhhhh. It is going to be a long 3 days! Thanks for listening. I know that you guys understand what I am going through as you live with it everyday as well. Please cross everything for me!