Hi girls,
I am an Army wife in Sydney. After trying to get pregnant for months and months, we finally did the last month before my man went away. We were living in Brisbane at the time and he was at the Gold Coast for three months and then Darwin for over a month and then Iraq for 7 months.
He was away most of the pregnancy and missed all of the scans. When I went to find out what I was having I got them to write in down and I gave this to my hubby to open, to help him feel connected.
We timed his 10 day mid-deployment leave for when our baby was due and I booked in to get induced a week early (ended up having a c-section) so that we knew he'd be there. Then he left again when bub was 5 days old for another 3.5 months.
When I found out that he was going to be away I quit work and just concentrated on myself and bub. I couldn't the handle the stress of being pregnant, hubby being away and work. To keep myself busy and distracted I went to visit family, threw myself into organising my baby shower, baby's room etc., did all those jobs you mean to do (like photo albums) and kept a pregnancy diary for my hubby to read when he got home. I also sent him a parcel every week with home made cookies, pictures of bub, footprints of bub, magazines etc. I was always on the look out for things to send and by concentrating on what to put in the next box helped me focus on keeping him happy and this is turn helped me.
After bub was born, I just concentrated on my new little man. I didn't have to cook or clean up after anyone else and bub and I just worked out our own routine that suited us. When we got lonely we went to stay with family. I also made lots of phone calls. Grandparents are good as they never get sick of hearing about the grandchild.
I can't say it wasn't hard, but I think the lead up to them going is the worst. You keep thinking about how hard it is going to be etc.
When DH got home, he took 2.5 months leave (used all his parental leave etc). So even though he wasn't there for the beginning, it was worth it as he was home when bub started to get fun and could be more involved in the daily activities.
Use the defence as much as you can, get them to mow the lawn, move furniture etc. I even got them to organise my hubby a cake for his birthday.
As far as having your baby in Brisbane. The Wesley hospital is great. That's where I had my bub and hubby got to stay with me in hospital.
What I find the worst about them going away is you never know when they are going to go next. How are you supposed to plan holidays and more babies if they could pack up and leave to go away again soon.
Anyway...girls you aren't alone. I am a stay at home mum and always looking for more people to chat to. We just moved to Inner West Sydney, so if anyone wants to catch up, my email is nathan.tash@yahoo.com.au
Take Care
Tash