Wow!!! I am soooooooooo happy to be pregnant (we had some fertility issues as well as two miscarriages but six years in the trying and here we are).

I was reading a book last night about the natural way to pregnancy and all of a sudden I feel like I am not doing a good job. I was so sick for the first four months I couldn't drink water (it just came straight back up) so lived on between one & two glasses of lemonade a day...all I could stomach in terms of fluids plus some food but limited. Now I am feeling better but still being sick I can drink water & manage about four or so pieces of fruit a day plus most days I have salad, wholegrain breads, cereal, protien and am must doing the very best I can for my beautiful miracle baby. It seems I eat too much fruit...the sugar is not good & then chocolate on top of that is even worse, then there is the mineral water..high in sodium....it feels like nothing I am doing is right. The sparkling mineral water I drink because until the last week the regular type doesn't stay down and I had past the lemonade phase & the few pieces of dark chocolate I have a day are all jeopardising the current and future health of my baby. I feel like I am doing my best but still it is not good enough.


The book also says you are infertile and also get sick in pregancy because you don't take care of yourself (my fault even though I am a generally healthy person who exercises and eats well). Then, today we went to a garage sale because they had 'baby items'. I left in tears, I have no idea what so many of the things are. We have been to baby shops & asked lots of questions, I read this forum & others, we have books & I have a friend who has just had a baby so I am trying to learn but it just seems there is so much I don't know and sometimes it gets the better of me.

I know that I will make mistakes, just like any other part of life but it seems so important to get it right. I waver from all our child needs is love and stability - we know we can give it that (I have he most wonderful DH and he is so in love with my round tummy and the baby) but all of the practical things are so overwhelming.

I am also aware that this stress is not good for baby so go back to the 'not a good Mum' thing. I don't want to feel like this and try not to, I guess that is part of my writing this..trying to get it out rather than holding it all in.

Thanks for listening!