Hi everyone

Firstly - I am so excited to do my very first post in second trimester discussion wooohoooo

Now, down to business with y query

Past two births DH has been my only support person. I live away from all family and my mother is sadly deceased (she would have been the BEST). My bestie is having a baby herself early July and has already said she would look after my other two.

My DH is a practical person ah hum, but I felt he wasn't able to anticipate or assist in my labour, which of course made me more stressed, he was more a spectator. EG first bub, waters broken holy cow here are the contractions all in my hips, honey please rub!!! - ok, after 2 minutes, my hands are sore and tired, honey the fetal monitor going crazy run and get a midwife wanna make sure bubs ok - don't worry they will come in soon and check - second bub - honey turn off that music, I don't wanna listen to it, can you tell the midwife I want some gas - NOW - nope, he waited until they came in - (frown) well what am I going to do ???!!!!

Please don't take this as him not caring, because he soooo does, and that is exactly why I have never spoken critically of this to him before, just joked.

Now - this time around after have a couple of losses, I do want that support at the end as well, due to sheer worry (unfounded but still there ) - without having to worry about the the response or lack of. So, I chatted to him about a doula which I REALLY want this time around. He said now I had bought this all to his attention and using it as leverage to get someone else involved (uh oh) and the $950 cost, he will try and do more. This wasn't the response I thought I would get - and I know he hasn't got that emotional stuff in him to last through a labour - comes from his family background blah blah and non-maternal mum having 5 kids and working to make ends meet etc - and I so get it.

So, my questions to all you lovely ladies - what would you do from here to persuade him that I am trying to value add to the birth, not focus on anything he previously did (or didn't) do??? Sometimes I am even tempted just to book the one I have been talking too - but I REALLY want him as involved as he can be.

Thanks for reading and in anticipation of any advice. Ugh, men ...

Sam