Jemima,

Do you think maybe you have PND? I think you need to seek some proffessional help from someone. I can understand your pain in wanting a girl, my DH's sister went through this as well, she has three boys and was desperate for a girl. To top it all off as well her other sister had a boy and 2 girls so she felt hard done by and thoght to herslef why me! She is adopted as well.

I think maybe also you are tired and rundown especially with your youngest being 5mths old and maybe that is why you are feeling like this? I don't now.

I am here to talk though Jemima, i can relate to you in the adoption part as my husband and i are both adopted. Just pm me if you want and i can always call my SIL and get her advise too as she seeked prof advise as well.

Take care and thinking of you, i hope i did not upset you in my last post or you took it all the wrong way!

jen
xx