Jas- I know it's not that he has my best interests at heart. We have talked long and hard about this. He knows the risks associated with this disease and he still wants a natural. He knows that i go into panic attacks everytime i think about the possibility that my bub will get what i've got. He knows all this, and yet he is still pushing me into a natural birth, even though it's honestly from the bottom of my heart not what i want.
I can't call that having my best interests at heart. I call that being selfish. He already has a daughter. He got to do the whole father at the natural birth thing with his ex.
Thats good that that was what she wanted and was comfortable with. But not me.
And him pushing me into something i don't want to do is really making me hate him.
If i hadn't already discussed with him how i feel time and time again, i wouldn't be acting like this. But i have, and now i'm simply going to do what i feel is best for me and my baby. Bugger what he thinks.
Misty- Come and beat some sense into him for me please!!!
May it be that he has fears about a c/s? Maybe talking to your health professional and getting them to explain the risks associated with a vaginal birth for you and your bub, and allay his fears?
It's great he's pro-natural birth, but to be a rabid believer isn't the best!
Good luck - and prep up a couple of friends to support you during & after the c/s ?
I was thinking 1st time I would have a c/s due to medical reasons too. Fate intervened and DD was firmly breech so it I had to have one anyway. I did lots of research and spoke to lots of ladies here and received so much good advice that it was a great experience that I cannot fault in any way. Recovery was fast and I didn't suffer any discomfort afterwards.
You need to weigh up the risks associated with your medical reasons vs your partners ideas on c/s risks vs. natural birth. At the end of the day, the most important thing is the baby comes out healthy and you are totally comfortable with your decision as to how that's achieved as a couple.
Personally even before knowing DD was breech, I was prepared to have a ceaser even though the medical risks I faced were realtively minor just to ensure my baby came out healthy. To me, that's all that mattered but then that is just my personal opinion.
Sophie - I totally understand where you are coming from. Baby is number one all the way. In regards to the medical condition your worring about I have the same issue (I remember from way back at the begining ) My Ob gave me a really good artical about it highlighting the risks and also the lack of risk. I found it really useful in making my decision, which is to plan on going natural unless I totally have to go C. Would you like me to forward you the link to the artical, maybe a little extra info will both help you and your DP if you would like it PM your email addy
FWIW, if you are already having panic attacks about delivering naturally then it isn't conducive to a positive birth experience. As your fears for the baby are medical and clearly very real then I don't think you are likely to be any less anxious the closer you get to the birth. This is something that he really needs to consider too - ie. if you do go into labour, have an anxiety attack and need an emergency c/s wouldn't a planned c/s be a less stressful and potentially dangerous option.
Also ask him if he could rationalise a natural birth vs your child living with what you have for the rest of his life? Is it really worth the risk?
I guess I am a bit in the middle. Without knowing what it is you have and how much it affects you/would affect the baby I wouldn't give an opinion one way or the other on whether i think elective c-section is ott.
But if natural birth or the possibility of passing on whatever it is freaks you out that much then i don't see why he should have an issue with it.
When it comes to the actual birth process i think it should be your chioce cause it's your body. I try follow dh's opinions on caffine etc while preg cause that affects the baby which is half his. But the birth is pretty much left up to me. there's not a lot of dif to the baby bwt the two usually. It's more the recovery/risk of the mother and affect on subsquent preg.
I personally liked a natural birth but i had no preferences going into preg/labour. I had the same easy attitude to meds. Whatever happens happens, no preconceptions of i must/n't have a epidural etc. I certainly wasn't against any drugs and was open to taking the lot if i thought it necessary at the time.
partners often have these ideas ingrained from their own mothers. My dh was not fussy about if i bf or not but was agianst childcare. Well our dd loves childcare abd we benefit both financially and emotionally from my decision to go back to work. these were ideals passed on from his mum that he had to learn to adapt to.
I've talked to Dp about it a bit. He's still pretty much the same. But i think reading this thread and seeing how i felt about it and what other women thought about it was good for him.
We're talking alot about it now. And i don't know, we'll have to see.
We've still got a few months till bubs born yet, so hopefully this will all be worked out by then.
Thankyou so much for all the help!!
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) My Ob gave me a really good artical about it highlighting the risks and also the lack of risk. I found it really useful in making my decision, which is to plan on going natural unless I totally have to go C. Would you like me to forward you the link to the artical, maybe a little extra info will both help you and your DP if you would like it PM your email addy
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