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Thread: I've made up my mind

  1. #1

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    Default I've made up my mind

    I'm going to go for an elective c-section. And i don't give a crap if DP makes a big deal about it.

    I'm doing it because i have a medical condition which i don't want to harm my baby, and the chance of that happening is pretty much wiped out with a c-section.



    So DP and his "i don't want you to get a CS because i want you to have that experience of giving birth" can go poo themselves.
    That's my choice isn't it?

    I'm really sick of being bullied by him about this whole thing. It's my bloody choice, not his.
    So basically i'm going to book myself in for an elective CS whether he likes it or not.

    So there!

    Lol
    Sorry, just really over DP and his "thing" with this whole CS thing.

  2. #2

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    Yep, it's your body and your choice. Do what you feel is best for you and your child.

  3. #3

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    u would think ur DP would want whats best for his partner and child? if u want one then go for it.

  4. #4

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    OMG.
    I will give him a kick up the bum for you if you want.
    Men....

  5. #5

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    Sophie are people thinking child birth is a form of martydom or something? What's with that suggestion? You can do whatever you want and whatever you feel is least risk to your baby. It's not up to anyone else, even your DP.

    If DP so seriously wants to experience child birth while you're having a C-section - put his balls in a vice - tighten then loosen, tighten then loosen - do that four at least 14 hours. Then there might be some feeling of fulfilment there.

    Boy, I'm sarcastic and nasty today. Week 24 is upon me!! I like the week 24 Evie. She's a cracker!!

  6. #6

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    Go for it! Your this baby's mum and your job is to do what is right for the bub - and that means what is right for you too.

    There are lots of ways to personalize the section now too. I have even heard of women lifting the baby out themselves (not for me BTW).

    My sons birth was a non-laboring emergency section. It was more physically demanding on me during the birth than what I had imagined so I was able to use all the breathing techniques that DH and I had learnt together - he helped me through it.

    You need to feel safe in what you are doing and it sounds like your baby is at the center of your decision - just where bubs needs to be. Congrats!

  7. #7

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    Your body - your choice.

    Never be afraid to express what you want to do with it. Its nobody else's business what you do.

    FWIW - I had a totally elective c-section with DS - no medical reason. (I was horribly uneducated, but thats beside the point)

  8. #8

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    Please don't shoot me ladies but I just wanted to say it sounds like ur DH has ur best interests at heart! Not saying he is right just saying that it sounds as though his heart is in the right place and he just wants u to have the birth he thinks will make u happiest.

    I think sit down with him talk it through let him know the reasonings and just that it is what u want to do! And it is your body so ur decision but for many guys supporting their wife through labour is something they look forward to so perhaps this is adding to his opinion. He probably needs to know all the ways his role is going to be just as important in a c/s as a vaginal delivery

  9. #9

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    Yes.

    Jas has a valid point there. Didn't think of it that way.

  10. #10

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    Jas- I know it's not that he has my best interests at heart. We have talked long and hard about this. He knows the risks associated with this disease and he still wants a natural. He knows that i go into panic attacks everytime i think about the possibility that my bub will get what i've got. He knows all this, and yet he is still pushing me into a natural birth, even though it's honestly from the bottom of my heart not what i want.

    I can't call that having my best interests at heart. I call that being selfish. He already has a daughter. He got to do the whole father at the natural birth thing with his ex.
    Thats good that that was what she wanted and was comfortable with. But not me.
    And him pushing me into something i don't want to do is really making me hate him.

    If i hadn't already discussed with him how i feel time and time again, i wouldn't be acting like this. But i have, and now i'm simply going to do what i feel is best for me and my baby. Bugger what he thinks.

    Misty- Come and beat some sense into him for me please!!!

  11. #11

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    May it be that he has fears about a c/s? Maybe talking to your health professional and getting them to explain the risks associated with a vaginal birth for you and your bub, and allay his fears?
    It's great he's pro-natural birth, but to be a rabid believer isn't the best!

    Good luck - and prep up a couple of friends to support you during & after the c/s ?

  12. #12

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    I was thinking 1st time I would have a c/s due to medical reasons too. Fate intervened and DD was firmly breech so it I had to have one anyway. I did lots of research and spoke to lots of ladies here and received so much good advice that it was a great experience that I cannot fault in any way. Recovery was fast and I didn't suffer any discomfort afterwards.

    You need to weigh up the risks associated with your medical reasons vs your partners ideas on c/s risks vs. natural birth. At the end of the day, the most important thing is the baby comes out healthy and you are totally comfortable with your decision as to how that's achieved as a couple.

    Personally even before knowing DD was breech, I was prepared to have a ceaser even though the medical risks I faced were realtively minor just to ensure my baby came out healthy. To me, that's all that mattered but then that is just my personal opinion.

    :hugs:

  13. #13

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    Sophie - I totally understand where you are coming from. Baby is number one all the way. In regards to the medical condition your worring about I have the same issue (I remember from way back at the begining ) My Ob gave me a really good artical about it highlighting the risks and also the lack of risk. I found it really useful in making my decision, which is to plan on going natural unless I totally have to go C. Would you like me to forward you the link to the artical, maybe a little extra info will both help you and your DP if you would like it PM your email addy

  14. #14

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    FWIW, if you are already having panic attacks about delivering naturally then it isn't conducive to a positive birth experience. As your fears for the baby are medical and clearly very real then I don't think you are likely to be any less anxious the closer you get to the birth. This is something that he really needs to consider too - ie. if you do go into labour, have an anxiety attack and need an emergency c/s wouldn't a planned c/s be a less stressful and potentially dangerous option.

    Also ask him if he could rationalise a natural birth vs your child living with what you have for the rest of his life? Is it really worth the risk?

  15. #15

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    I guess I am a bit in the middle. Without knowing what it is you have and how much it affects you/would affect the baby I wouldn't give an opinion one way or the other on whether i think elective c-section is ott.

    But if natural birth or the possibility of passing on whatever it is freaks you out that much then i don't see why he should have an issue with it.

    When it comes to the actual birth process i think it should be your chioce cause it's your body. I try follow dh's opinions on caffine etc while preg cause that affects the baby which is half his. But the birth is pretty much left up to me. there's not a lot of dif to the baby bwt the two usually. It's more the recovery/risk of the mother and affect on subsquent preg.

    I personally liked a natural birth but i had no preferences going into preg/labour. I had the same easy attitude to meds. Whatever happens happens, no preconceptions of i must/n't have a epidural etc. I certainly wasn't against any drugs and was open to taking the lot if i thought it necessary at the time.

    partners often have these ideas ingrained from their own mothers. My dh was not fussy about if i bf or not but was agianst childcare. Well our dd loves childcare abd we benefit both financially and emotionally from my decision to go back to work. these were ideals passed on from his mum that he had to learn to adapt to.

  16. #16

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    I've talked to Dp about it a bit. He's still pretty much the same. But i think reading this thread and seeing how i felt about it and what other women thought about it was good for him.
    We're talking alot about it now. And i don't know, we'll have to see.

    We've still got a few months till bubs born yet, so hopefully this will all be worked out by then.
    Thankyou so much for all the help!!

  17. #17

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    Yeah Sophie Rose - you'll come to some agreement in the end.

    Either way, the ultimate goal is to have a healthy little baby!! Now THAT's something to look forward to!!

  18. #18

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    Your body, your birth!
    What matters in the end is a healthy Mum and Baby.
    Completely agree with Nai's post. Very well said!
    I had a c-section with our DD - it was calm, beautiful and everything we could've hoped for... we had our beautiful and healthy little girl in our arms and I thoroughly enjoyed my birthing experience...Going back this time for another c-section.
    Your hubby is just trying to look out for you - but it is your body. In the end I don't think it will matter to him - he will just be amazed that the 2 of you built such an amazing little person - and how he got here will probably be irrelevant!
    All the best,
    Lily

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