Thanks Tan and Celsie,
I'm know i'm just in a terrible mindspin of yes, one dreaded thought after the other, and its one big ball of overreacting, but i thought if i got it out in the open and had a bit of a ramble it might make me feel a bit better. That and the kind words that everyone here on BB offers is a really great support.
So thank you ladies for your kind words, and i'll keep all that i mind, and try and calm down!