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Thread: Not sure what to do.... very worried

  1. #1
    sajemsha Guest

    Unhappy Not sure what to do.... very worried

    I went to the doctors for my antinatal a couple of days ago, I'm 22 weeks today.
    When it can to the weigh in I don't think doctor was to impressed, I'm 5kg's off the limit weight for ceasers at our hospital, we'll have to keep an eye on this was all he said. I'm not sure what they do after that, the next biggest hospital is over an hour away from where we live, I'm not sure on their weight limit and I'm not sure who I would ask at the hospital to find out either.
    I've still got so many weeks to go and I've already put on 10kg's (I don't know how, but scales don't lie right) What do I do now? eat carrots for the next 17 weeks!
    To top things off, he couldn't find the heartbeat with the dopler so I had to have an emergency ultrasound, but all was fine. The Tech said a lot of people get sent from that clinic for emergancy scans, so I guess there equipment isn't great and with my size I guess it doesn't help, boy this is all really depressing. What should I do?


  2. #2

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    Rose, I don't have any advice for you, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to send you . That must have been very stressful for you, esp. when they couldn't find the HB.

    It's so hard not to worry isn't it? Can you speak to your Dr and find out the best course of action? I don't know, maybe you'll just have to accept that you'll likely put on more than 5kgs in the next few months, but if there's any safe way you can avoid it, I totally understand you wanting to do so.

    Maybe Alan or someone else with some knowledge will pop in here and suggest the best thing to do, but if I were you I'd be wanting to speak to my HCP and know all of the scenarios.

    Best of luck Rose.

  3. #3

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    Hi Rose,

    Sounds like the last thing you need to be worrying about, you poor thing

    Can you give the big hospital which is an hour a way a call and ask their policy, maybe make an appointment to see them? Are they better and better equipped than the one you are currently going to?

    The only hospital I can give birth in is an hour and a quarter away on a good day (depending on traffic). Initially this really bothered me as it made it a pain for appointments and I don't drive so my partner has to take time off work to take me, and also I still am a little worried about getting there in time if I do go into spontaneous labour, but it's all worked out and somehow we've mananged it with little hassle.

    I guess you wouldn't have to worry about getting there in time for the baby to be born if you have a caesar.

    Maybe you can give them a call to see if you do have other options? To stick with 5kg and under for the rest of your pregnancy would be near impossible I reckon, it's in the end you do the most gaining.

    I hope something works out.

  4. #4

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    Hi there!
    Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble!
    I am a large person too.... probably a lot bigger than you.
    I have been told at my first m/w app that they have to get me to talk to someone (sorry can't remember who?) about my weight isues and to do with the hospitals equipment...... Cos I'm so big that some of it might not be able to take me!!
    It's not a nice or easy thing to hear.
    To be sent off for an 'emergency' ultrasound just because doppler didnt pick up heart beat ... that to me sounds a little over the top on ur docs behalf.
    At 20w, I had a doppler and no heartbeat was picked up.... I nor the doc was worried at all... I can;t imagine that they are accurate all the time!!
    I wasn't sent for an emergency u/s... it happens to many people and not necessarily us bigger girls!!
    I wouldn't stress too much mate
    If you are 'over the limit' for cesearian at ur particular hopst, they should be able to organise something for you without making you feel like crap!
    I dont really think it should be left up to you to find out about other hospitals.... ur GP or midwife should have an idea and be able to tell you about it.
    I have spoken on sites to so many 'overweight' people and their pregnancies and births have gone without a hitch.
    Please try not to stress! I know thats hard... but during pregnancy, the last thing you should have to worry about is your weight!!
    People can be so insensitive!
    I'm due a few weeks before you, so I'll let you know how I get on! I'm sure you'll be able to rest easy after that
    good luck, best wishes, and dont stress on your weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



    Nicky

  5. #5

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    Rose it might be worth seeing a dietician to make sure you're only gaining necessary weight! I'll be seeing one right throughout my PG and she has me on a low GI diet which seems to be working since so far I've not gained any weight (by this stage in my last PG i had already put on 2-3 kg) so I'm confident I'll be able to stay on top of it this time.

    I know it's not the main source of your worry but at least you'll know in yourself that any further weight gain is "all baby" and not going to compromise your health. And you won't be feeling guilty or unneccessarily depriving yourself either. HTH and ((hugs)).

  6. #6

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    Weird that the hospital has a 'cut-off' weight during/at the end of your pg. I have only heard of hospitals having a 'cut-off' weight when first booking in.
    Don't stress too much about the weight gain, really if you are eating good most of the time, it is just your body gaining weight cos it needs to.
    I hope you don't have to change hospitals.

  7. #7
    sajemsha Guest

    Red face

    Thanks girls I'm going to keep a food diary of what I eat, then I'll see if I can change anything. I'm also going to see the midwife at the hospital, she should be able to tell me more about the cut off weight and if the bigger hospital goes on the same principle.
    I wonder if the doctor will tell me to go elsewere as soon as I reach the 120kg mark or if he'll want me to somehow lose some weight. I wonder what the risk are if I go over that weight ?, or is it just their equipment ?, I'll have to ask the midwife that as well. I don't really feel comfortable talking with my current doctor, he seems a bit arrogant.
    I'll post how I go, take care alla nd thanks for you hugs.....

  8. #8
    sajemsha Guest

    Post update...

    I've spoken to a midwife and she says, the next hospital 1/2 an hour away does c -sections and it depends on the doctor to what weight limits they have, only a couple of months ago a lady who was 130kg's delevered by c -section had her baby with little complications and recovered well. So that could well be an option for me if I go over the 120kg weight limit my Dr has put on me, I'm hoping with good food and excercise I'll stay under, but I have got a while to go. She said if it is ok with the doctor that I have now then I can transfer back to my home town hospital after 24 hours.
    The next thing I can do is go to the hospital an hour from me, it is a base hospital and is more well equipt to deal with any type of emergency and can deal with any size. The same thing stands with them, I could transfer back as long as all is well and the hospital here is happy with that.
    I feel a bit better about things, but I still feel guilty and sad about my weight.
    I haven't told any of this to my Hubby yet, I don't want to freek him out, he's already worried about a caeser let alone me complicating things. Guess I'll have to tell him at some point though.
    I haven't decided what I want to do just yet, I think I would feel less worried in the bigger hospital, but I guess the next antinatal (at 25 weeks) will help make up my mind. I just hope I keep keep my weight what it is....

  9. #9
    paradise lost Guest

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    Hi there,

    hope you don't mind me butting in - i am a little concerned by you saying that YOU are complicating things.

    You've not complicated anything sweetheart. Your doc is paid to deliver YOUR baby and YOU are your baby's Mumma, it's not up to you to try to be different for the doctors! It's their job! if they could choose i'm sure they'd have every mum come in the perfect weight, baby perfectly healthy, everything perfect, but then they'd be out of a job!

    If you feel you'd like to be lighter, that's something you can totally address when bubba is here and you're well-recovered from pregnancy and birth. Meantime don't feel guilty about being You! Your baby is coming to YOU, not despite who you are, BECAUSE of who you are.

    My sister is very large and has struggled all her life with comments and criticisms from doctors, it's so hard to try to get people to understand. I was just under my hospital's weight limit for risk (100kg or over was "high-risk" and not suitable for homebirth, even though my midwife had delivered a 118kg woman the week i booked, at home, with no problems) and luckily (though with no effort from me) i stayed under it (though i actually stopped weighing myself after 37wks! LOL). I understand the stress but don't take it out on yourself.

    Remember your emotional well-being is important, don't beat yourself up about any of this. You're a wonderful mother. Hold onto that.

    Love

    Hana

  10. #10
    sajemsha Guest

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    Thankyou Hana, I've got tears in my eyes.
    Well I've decided to give this doctor the flick, I'm not going to wait until I'm 35 weeks and over his limit and then have to find a non fat phobic doctor, I'm taking matters into my own hands.
    I'm booking into the hospital I spoke of that is 1/2 an hour away from here, the Doctor sound like he has a better idea of things and he takes on patients that weigh more then the norm, I see him on the 30th, I'm really nervous about it though, Doctors always put me on edge, but hopefully he'll accept me for who I am and things will be a little bit less stressful.
    I will be booking into the hospital before I see him (on the friday, I see him on the Monday), I'll post how I go. I've decided I'm not going to transfer back to my home town either, I've heard that at the hospital I'm booking into they have a new maternity unit and the nurses ar fabulous.
    I'm really not looking forward to having another ceaser, but having a doctor on my side would make me feel more at ease, I can't wait to have this baby though, I'll be so happy when we walk out of the hospital and go home together
    Thankyou for your kind words, take care...

  11. #11

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    You go girl!!!
    I'm glad that you seem so much more positive and pro-active now. And it sounds like you're making the right decision by changing to a more supportive and better equipped hospital.
    I had a similar issue at the beginning of my pregnancy. I am overweight, but never thought it was THAT bad. Then I went to see my GP at 6 weeks and when she asked where I'd like to deliver I mentioned the birth centre here. The GP (herself not a size 10) got all huffy and puffy and flat out told me that at my weight I am high risk and that my weight and the fact that I had not given birth before would probably lead to a c-section. I weighed 85kgs then and I'm pretty tall (BMI 29). I was very upset after being told that I'll have the pregnancy & birth from hell because I had let myself go (her words).
    I then contacted the birth centre myself who were more than happy to take me in after considering my medical history and so far have had a breezy pregnancy. And I have never been to see that GP again.
    I hate how some doctors try to really make a point about your weight at a time when you are so vulnerable. They make you feel like you've failed as a person and as a mother before you have even had a chance to be one.
    Don't let them put you down!!!
    Some women put on more weight at the beginning of their pregnancy and then plateau for a while. As long as you are trying to make healthy choices when it comes to meal times and do some gentle exercise, you'll probably be fine. And just for the record, I don't think 120kg at the end of the pregnancy is all that much.

    I hope everything goes really well for you.

  12. #12
    paradise lost Guest

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    Good on you Rose!! You'll feel so much better knowing your Doc is on-side, and i'm sure your pregnancy will go on brillaintly with the reduction in stress that'll bring. I'm sure the c-section will go fine too, you're an old-hand at this baby-havin' lark ;-)

    I'm also tall (181cm, my bmi was 29.4 at booking in, 96.4kg) but i was offered exercise classes (i already worked full-time and walked 2 miles to and 2 miles back from work 5 days a week, which i did until 34 wks! And i swam once a week which i did throughout pregnancy) a dietician and all kinds of bunk! I politely declined and said i'd see how it went. As it was i literally gained nothing until 32wks then piled 6kg on in the next 5 then avoided the scales! Because i was homebirth my last few antenatals were done at home and our bathroom scales were 3kg wonky, totally unreliable and the midwives just stopped caring. I was back at pre-pregnancy weight when she was 4 days old.

    Having said that, when i recently joined my new GP practice i went for my initial physical, they weighed me (76kg, bmi 23.2 which, honestly, i'm VERY proud of because i had a baby a year ago and i took up running when she was 6 weeks old (more to avoid postnatal depression and get out my stresses through the break up with XDP than to lose weight but still...) and i now run around 30k a week, and i've not been this thin since i was 17!) and the nurse (who was about 4'0", though not thin) said "Do you want some information on weightloss?" I was so shocked! I assume since her "ideal" weight is around 50kg she thinks i am massive, not taking into account the 2 extra feet in height....grrrrrr!

    Anyway, don't get me started on the medical profession and weight!

    Well well well done rose for taking matters into your own hands.

    Hana

  13. #13

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    Well, Hana, after reading your story, I have to say, I am not tall. Well, not compared to you anyway. I am only 171cms.
    I can't believe the nurse in your GP practice. Fair enough, she didn't know how much weight you have already lost (so maybe you should give her some info on weightloss), but to be honest, 76 kg is not a lot at your height. Why on earth do they make comments like that based solely on your weight? Doesn't she have eyes? I'm sure you don't look unhealthy with all that exercise and weightloss.
    Another thing that gets to me is that they always seem to think that if you're overweight it's either because you're just simply too lazy or too dumb to do anything about it...

  14. #14

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    hi sajemsha

    It seems really rude and unfair that you or anyone would be treated differently just because of your size. I wonder if the anaesthetists at your local hospital would agree to these size limits? Sounds like maybe your doctor is using this as an incentive for you to maintain a certain weight thats agreeable for him/her...not very nice or considerate of your feelings.

    At the new hospital, ask to meet with a social worker. Depending on the size of the hospital, there may be a person who deals exclusively with maternity to help mums and dads.

    They will be able to help you organise accommodation for your family when you have bubs, and help you be reimbursed for the expenses associated with each trip to the hospital if needed.They are also invaluble for emotional support too once you get to know them. If you have any questions or concerns they will also help to track down the right people and find out things on your behalf.

    All the best,

  15. #15

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    Hi Rose, I'm so pleased to hear that you've found a dr who sounds so much more realistic and supportive. I'd like to second what Hana said, now is not the time to be getting down on yourself, you are growing a new little life inside you and that is just amazing!

    I've often heard of regional hospitals having a BMI-related cut off, but I've never really understood why, and often it seems quite an arbitrary cut off point too. I just don't understand how one hospital "can" do it and another "can't". Seems to me like their problem not yours. My last baby was delivered in a regional hospital, my BMI would've been 34 at the time, but the only time it was referred to, all I remember my Dr saying (over the phone to the hospital) "She's big, but she's also tall and she's pretty healthy" - *end of converstation*!! So this is clearly one of those areas that dr attitudes come into play.

    When you think about it, the female body is designed to gain weight when we are pregnant, it's our biological conditioning, for crying out loud!

    I look forward to hearing how you get on with your new dr on the 30th.
    xxx

  16. #16

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    Hi Rose,

    I have read thru all the posts in here and although i am on the small side, most of my friends are not. normal weight gain in pregnancy for any size woman is 13 - 18 kg. As long as you are eating healthy and exercising there is nothing that can stop you gaining what your body needs. I'm glad you have now found a doc that actually knows this and if I were you, I would make a formal complaint about the other one because he should know that Dieting while you are pg is a HUGE NO NO as it can deprive bub of nutrients needed for a healthy bub.
    I gained around 15 Kg with my Daughter but I wasn't watching what I ate so this time round I have been a lot more careful, eg. when I have a chocolate craving instead of buying a family block I will buy a freddo or something and I am eating a balanced diet with lots of fruit n veg.

    Just a reminder, BMI non pg should be 20 - 25 pg should be 25 - 30 at the end but up to 35 is considered fine but a little high. Who cares what docs think about your weight. If you got pg without needing to lose tons of weight then obviously your body can handle it with the weight. I am 5'4" and @ 24wks 71.6kg so for my height i'm still slightly big but I don't have as much fluid retention as I did with Sarah so overall I havent gained as much as I did with her but I was lighter at the beginning with her than I was this time round.

    Good luck and enjoy your gorgeous bub.

  17. #17
    sajemsha Guest

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    Thankyou so much for all your support I'll update on the new dr when I see him, I book into the other hospital a couple of days before I see him and the nurses (who I've only talked to on the phone yet) are very helpful and supportive. It'll be nice to be somewhere where my weight is not the biggest issue. I'm still eating really good (most of the time) So I shouldn't put on a huge amount. Despite my weight, I'm healthy and happy.
    Take care all and thanks again

  18. #18

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    I had my daughter at Sunnybank Private Hospital in QLD. My OB never weighed me which I found a little odd and throughout the pregnancy I put on about 12kgs making me to the grand total of 135kg. I had a c-section and nothing was ever said about a weight cut-off. After I had my daughter I lost 5 kgs straight away (she was nine pound four) and 2 weeks after that I was back down to 120kg (part from the fluid retention and part from not having time to eat). The only thing that they made me do was to wear those funky stockings to stop blood clots because I have an extremly large feral vein that pops out of my leg. I had no complications from having a c-section either. I was up the next morning at 5.30am, had a shower and I was walking up and down the halls of the hospital getting bottles. The physio even saw me on my second day there racing up the hall with a screaming baby to get a bottle and couldnt believe the nurses when they said Id had a c-section yesterday. I think if u go into it thinking positive and try your hardest, u will come out at the end ok. By the sounds of all the storys that u have been told, Im a complete success story and Im sure Im not the only one. U are probably only being told the bad stuff. Good luck with your delivery anyways.

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