I was appalled and outraged to read your post Rachel.
This is the type of person who most definitely should not be in the business of assisting women birth their babies.
If you did not give consent for a strip and stretch (or sweep of membranes) it could be assault.
I encourage you to write down what was said in a letter of complaint to this practise. A copy of this letter needs to go to the Health Rights Commission and another to the AMA. Very clearly state how his behaviour made you feel. Words such as violated and that your rights as a patient were not met. I am more than happy to assist you with this if you would like. Another option is to contact the Maternity Coalition in Victoria. They may be able to offer assistance. I can supply you with a contact if you would like. Well done for having the courage to seek out an alternative for you and your baby. I sincerely hope that you can feel safe and supported in your new birthing environment.
It sounds like your original obstetrician made a very bad choice in who he had replacing him. Did this happen in the public system (I am in Qld and not knowledgeable about hospitals in Victoria)? If so the hospital will have a 'Charter for Patient Rights and Responsibilities' - or some such document. I don't even need to read it to know he has transgressed it!
A very similar situation happened to me in the weeks prior to birthing my fourth baby. It was deeply deeply disturbing. I was to have my baby at a public hospital birth centre (the only one in South east Qld and the place I had birthed all of my other children). In the end the hospital paid for me to have the birth of my choice (active labour with the option of water) at a private hospital. I had more time up my sleeve. (that is another story for another time!)
I wish I could offer you more practical support in this difficult situation.
Remember you are about to embark on the journey of birth. Put all of this on hold (except for documenting what was said for later reference, as often it is hard to recall) and focus on birthing your baby. Gather support from your partner, friends and family.
You are very strong and courageous.
I look forward to hearing of your birth and beautiful baby. Later I hope to hear of the outcome of this most disgraceful fiasco at the hands of this most misguided man.
With love and positive thoughts for you and your baby,
Deb

I just want to add. Please release the fear and ridiculous notion that you will kill your baby if not induced. PROVIDING there are no indicators and the advice you have from your carers (apart from this tosser) is that your baby is well. Two of my four babies were born at 42 weeks. 40 weeks is an indicator, it is normal to birth 2 weeks on either side of that time.
This obstetrician wants you on the bed so he doesn't get his tie messed up and so it is easier on him. It suits this character type to have you in a position of subservience. Forget easier on anyone but you. The World Health Organisation (WHO) have guidelines for birth - trust me on a bed in the lithotomy position is not one of them!
Try to put out of your mind all that he has said and focus on birthing your baby in a calm, supportive and nurturing environment....Much love,
Deb