How many people are allowed in the birthing suite?

[BloominRoses]

I wasn't sure where else to post this, but as this has already started to become an issue amongst our family and friends I thought I'd ask the lovely ladies of BB so I can get some peace and quiet finally.

About 30 people have put their hand up as 'needing' to be in there when I'm giving birth. Obviously this is unreasonable - and unwanted on my part lol - but is there a general number of family/friends allowed in?

I have my appointment with the Royal Women's on Monday and I know I'll be able to ask then but as this issue has seriously started to do my head in with the constant phone calls, texts, emails and all-around 'hints', I'm hoping I can get a rough idea sooner.

Thanks in advance everyone!
Shari xo

[Visitor7]

I had both my girls at the public hospital up here, and there was no limit on the amount of people that were allowed in. It was entirely my decision who was there. With Nina, I had 4 people there, 8 at one stage, and with Emily there were 3 people there.

[~Serenity~]

this is such a great questions and its funny how ppl ask so early i had someone say at like 5-6 weeks lol and they had to cut the cord like wtf im like yeah ok whatever lmao

i think it depends on the place so good idea to ask i s'pose different places have different sized labour rooms and stuff im wanting about 3 ppl but last time i had one only just make it before ds flew out while i blinked so heres hoping

[Snowy Love]

You could ask them why they want to see your vagina - that'd scare a few off from asking I'd reckon. I beleive there would be a limit set by the hospital, but it'd probably be higher than I'd be comfortable with (which is 2 people) and you can set your own limit and the midwives won't let people in if you don't want them there.

[Willow]

Our hospital has no limit as such, but I'm sure there is a point where it becomes unreasonable...yeah, 30 sounds unreasonable to me! LOL.

I've only ever had DH and my mum there until the birth, then the PIL to visit a few hours later and we've still been in the delivery suite then.

[Lisa]

I had 6 people in the room with me when I was in labour with DS1, but only had 1 in there when I gave birth to him.

For me it is definitely the less the better... I felt really on show and uncomfortable having so many people in there with me, even though they're people I love and wanted there anyway... I guess once everything was happening, I just wanted to be basically left alone. With my last labour (DS2) I had my DH, my DS1 & DD present and that was more than enough for me

[feeb]

I work at 2 Melbourne hospitals and 2 is maximum in room for actual birth and in early labour you can sometimes get a 3rd but once things start progressing they like there to only be 2 support people.

Main reason is rooms are small and lots of things come in and out of room and in am emergency they need maximum space.

Other reason is woman end up with too much advice and feel smothered.

Also very personal and private showing vagina to family and friends

[alioops]

It depends on the hospital - the hospital that my older 2 were born in had a limit of 2 plus a Student MW or doula for VBs. I have a Student MW this time and had one with DD2. I liked having a student so much that I would recommend it to anyone.

For #3 DH and the student MW will be in surgery with me, plus however many medical staff are needed and possibly a few student obs, considering it is a teaching hospital.

[satya]

I gave birth in a Melbourne hospital & had 4 people in there with me at some parts of the labour - even quite late on. Right before they vacced him out I had 4 there. They cleared the room for the birth though - it was just my partner & I. They would have allowed others but my parents left the room & then the middy asked if I wanted my MIL to leave (she came up close & whispered it) and then she got her out quick smart.

[~Serenity~]

yeah i had my grandma at my dd birth and i remember at one point looking up when they were breaking the waters and my legs were well very spread and shes right in prime veiwing position same as when she was born...kinda weird lol but i would like dh and mum there if possible and hopefully a student midwife

[BloominRoses]

See, ideally I'd like 4: my DF, MIL-to-be (only 5 wks away!!), and my 2 best friends. But as I'm in Melb, based on Feeb's advice I may be only allowed 2 which would knock the 2 friends out I guess. I just don't get why SO many people in his family as well as good (not great) friends want to be in there.

This is the only time in my life where it's actually easier that both of my parents are no longer alive and I have no siblings. If they were, my gosh I'd be literally fricked.

[Taurean]

OMG! I feel for you hon! Really, why do so many of your friends and family feel the need to be there?! What a position they're putting you in!

If I was you, I'd simply tell them all that it's a personal and special moment you want to experience with your partner and you will only be taking a max of 2 extra family members / friends for support. I honestly think your contractions would stop in the tracks and your vajuts would shut up shop if it had that many people looking at it!

I would imagine 2 or 3 people with you would be the norm. I'm taking in my DH and sister and hopefully a close friend who is a trainee midwife but that's it. I already know all I want is supportive people (for both me and DH!) and as less distraction as possible so I can listen to my body and get on with the job.

Good luck with letting everyone down - you poor love!!

[~Saram~]

When I had DS I only had Dh in the room with me but the waiting room outside was full to the brim - we had already said that no-one was to come in but according to the midwives comments it was getting pretty teste out there and sent Dh out to reason with them. Luckily I had a short labour.

After the birth (about and hour) they let them all in - two at a time. I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and there was still blood everywhere and my little brother fainted (13 at the time - certainly put him off DTD for a while) In hindsight I would have rathered wait until I was on my feet before letting everyone in.

With Dd we were 1000km from family so it was much more relaxed :-)

[*The_Mrs.*]

Before I got pregnant I always thought I would want to have a million people in there as it is a beautiful thing. Then I got pregnant, and as I near closer I think 2 will be enough. Probably my mom and DF. It is just more of a special thing now and I want only the select few to share in those first few beautiful moments when she is born. Plus the fact my vagina will be on display is another reason to reconsider.

[Serenitylee]

At my Hospital only 2 people are allowed.

[DoubleK]

i had my mum, dad and dp with me. mum & dp holding one hand each, and dad standing sorta behind mum, but back a bit. he was on stand by with the camera & video camera!
there was also 2 midwives, and my OB and a training OB.. so it was pretty crowded!

[Just Me]

Bloomin Roses - I think you need to think about what you want and what your DF wants for when you are in labour and when you give birth. Lots of people want lots of things when there are babies involved, but it becomes a bit of an art to work out what you think and DF thinks is best for you and your baby.

People should be invited to attend the l & b not invite themselves. It is fine if you want to have them there - it's your birth, you should do what you feel comfortable with - but you have the opportunity to express that to them, not the other way around.

Also remember that how you feel now maybe very different to how you will feel when you are in labour. Maybe have a chat to the people you want to invite to be there and tell them that you are going to play it by ear on the day and if you change your mind, it is nothing personal.

In the Townsville Hospital (public) I was only allowed 2 support people and no children (just in case anyone was interested )

I hope it all works out the way you want it to

[BloominRoses]

Also remember that how you feel now maybe very different to how you will feel when you are in labour. Maybe have a chat to the people you want to invite to be there and tell them that you are going to play it by ear on the day and if you change your mind, it is nothing personal.

This is excellent advice and exactly what I'm going to do!

I always feel kind of stuck because I feel one part of me should be extremely grateful (which I completely am) that for a girl who has no living immediate family and is on the other side of the Earth from her extended family and childhood friends, I have this whole other family, plus friends, who care enough to want to share in this with me. However this always makes it difficult for me to say things that I know are going to be perceived as hurtful to some and I end up just going with the flow at times for fear of rocking the boat.

But since I seem to have absolutely no problem asserting myself in either my relationship with DF or my professional life, I'm at a loss as to why I have such trouble now. It boggles my mind to tell you the truth.

I'm going to follow this advice - and I think if anyone gets offended by this, well then there's really nothing else I can do. Four people is quite a lot - and although Snowy Love's comment about their motives for looking at my vagina was tongue in cheek, I'm going to use it should anyone arc up once I tell them I'm going to play it by ear.

Thank you so much everyone! I'm still amazed that the answers varied so much from 2 people allowed to however many you desire. I wonder if that's a public vs a private thing or based solely on the hospital's preference? (If that's a stupid question, please forgive me as I honestly don't have a frickin clue!!!)

S xo