Just need to know if what I have been feeling is normal. I am going in for delivery on Tuesday and of course I am extatic about it, but I am also finding myself having really down moments. I am frustrated that the house is not the way I want it before bump arrives although I am sure that DH will work hard to try and get it all cleaned up before we come home. I am annoyed that his father keeps taking him away from me to work on other things when he needs to home finishing the painting and helping me clean and prepare for bumps arrival. I mean we need some time together to sit and reflect on our lives and what will come once bump is here and we just don't seem to have the time to do that. I am lonely and feel isolated. I am so looking forward to bump arriving that is the only thing that puts a smile on my face right now, everything else just makes me want to cry!
Is this normal or a sign of possible depression? What do I do?
Hi Puppies,
I know what you mean, i think it is normal in a way, I have been up and down over the last week, I get excited and then I get scared and then I feel down. I am excited for the baby too but have felt a bit depressed aswell. I think maybe its just this time of the pregnancy.
Have you said anything to your DH, I am lucky in a way even though he has been really busy and hasnt really been able to spend all his time with me he still sensed something was wrong and asked me if I was ok, I had a chat to him and felt heaps better.
Then someone goes and says to me oh I hope the baby comes out healthy and has nothing wrong with it. Ummm thanks for that just something else for me to stress about.
If you have someone to talk to I think that is the best thing you can do, otherwise just get some rest and I think when bubs arrives you will be heaps better.
If you need to chat you can PM message me if you want.
Sal
Good luck with your birth and i look forward to hearing about it.
Just want to say I am not taking a dig at your decision so pleeeeease don't looke at it this way, it's just my piece of insight.
The nesting phase should come naturally to you - and it often comes as body is preparing for birth. Maybe part of it is that because you have chosen Bump's arrival you don't have 'time' for your body to kick in to this instinctively. He will be born at 39 weeks - many babies aren't ready until 42 weeks, so chances are that your body just isn't kicking in yet?
I wouldn't worry about it being depression, but it is good you are on top of your moods - for now at least. A domicillary nurse and a MCHN normally visit in the first week once you are home if you are still feeling this way after birth then talk to them about it, but anxiety beforehand is also NORMAL. I have cared for little babies a lot before my DS but at 39 weeks i was terrified that i wouldn't remember how to change a nappy - but it's very simple!
Don't stress about being prepared for Bump's arrival. All you need is the bassinet in your bedroom, your boobs and some nappies. And all DH needs to do is fetch you breastpads and nipple creams and make sure you sleep when baby sleeps. The rest can happen later. You will be fine darl.
Thanks Sal,
I am the first of my friends to have a baby and so I don't really have anyone I can share this with that will be able to understand or help. I try to explain to DH and he tries to help but to be honest he is so busy trying to finish the painting and please his fathers whims that I really don't have his undivided attention right now and I know that he feels bad about that. We have just left it too late to try and finish everything we needed to and now we are rushing and that is taking time away from our 'us time' that we need right now.
I have a Doula and I called her yesterday and had a chat with her and she was good but she also has little ones that constantly talk to her while she is on the phone with me so I feel bad that I am keeping her from her children. I just wish I had a friend who had recently been through this that I could sit down with face to face and just have a chat with. But thats just not possible. I am looking forward to getting involved in a Mothers Group once the baby is here cause I am worried that these feelings will come back and visit me even after the baby is here because I really don't have anyone to share this with especially when DH goes back to work and I am home alone. I kind of wish they had Pre-Mothers Groups so pregnant women could hang out together over a coffee and just share. I honestly wouldn't know what I would do without my BB girls. They are my only sanity. I feel like I spend most of my life sitting on this forum cause its the only comfort I get right now.
Oh the nesting instinct came in weeks ago. There is no doubt about that! I want to nest but can't until DH has finished painting and sanding and all that smelly, messy stuff. I have already cleaned out the pantry, bathroom cupboards etc etc. Bumps room is ready and all clothes washed and even hung up in size order. I have everything ready for him except the house smells like paint fumes and there are paint tins and crap everywhere and I just want to have the house in order but I can't do that until like I said DH is finished. And it annoys me that his father has to take him away from me to do other things that are not important right now.
And I am not at all anxious or worried about the birth. I am seriously at peace with that and know in my heart that we have made the correct decision for our specific situation. I just need my DH with me right now and I need my house in order and its all been taken out of my hands by insensitive people who are more concerned about what their needs are then to think that we may have needs right now.
It is normal. This is your first baby right? Before DD was born I felt like that. I think it's the unknown because you've never done this before. It's also drawing near to the end of your pregnancy journey. And you are full of hormones which throw your emotions and rationalism out of wack. One thing I've learnt now that DD is almost 10 months old is that the first year of having a baby is not "normal" because if its your first you're doing something you've never, ever done before. Becoming a mum is a scary and rewarding thing. I've found that all my pre-conceived ideas about motherhood have flown out the window. I think you should only be concerned if these feelings extend beyond the first 6-8 weeks of your childs life, then it's not normal.
Yep, I think it's normal. I'm only 30 weeks and I'm finding I get frustrated easily and a little cranky, because not everything is perfect. Really, things are pretty good here, but it still doesn't stop me stressing a little.
I guess, also the pregnancy is coming to an end and for us it will most likely be the last one, so it's kind of like coming up to a transition stage. IYKWIM?
Is it normal to feel depressed before birth?
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