Venting!

[*The_Mrs.*]

So I am sure that as we progress in our pregnancies things arise that tick us off. Well it is starting to get to me. Here are the things I am curious if other people get bugged by.

1.) People telling you how to raise your child and that certain things you wish to do are stupid.

- I can not stand this! I plan to breast feed and use cloth diapers and my nosy family members think I am being stupid. Some won't even come to my baby shower because of it.

2.) Since my Fiance and I are not married I (not him) get the continuous "looks". like, "Oh another unwed mother".



I know those are only two things but they really suck! I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and not have to worry about rude people.

[feeb]

Grr people need to butt out and mind there own business. What concern is it to them how you feed your baby and what nappies you use or how you dress baby for that matter.

The not married thing sooooooooooooooo many are not married these days when they have kids so what at least you are in a loving relationship and they should be happy for that, baby will be loved the same if married or not!

enjoy your pregnancy and let all the crap float of like water of a ducks back!!

[*The_Mrs.*]

Thank you Feeb. Somedays I will have that attitude where I just let it go. Other days I want to pull out my pregnancy hormones. I think it is worse that it is in my family. On top of the cloth diapers and breast feeding all my cousins are mad at me because if it was a boy I was going to name it jack after my grandpa (which I have had planned for years). Yet a year ago one of my cousins miscarried a boy (which is sad) and named him Jack. Apparently I was dishonoring by choosing the same name. But that name is so common. It is little things like that that set me off. And now I have to pay even though it ended up being a girl. I feel like going crazy plus my back is killing me from all those pregnancy hormones.

[TwinsMummy]

well i completely agree with you hun and i always tell my friends who are pg or have children that you do what you want and do no let anyone tell you how to be a mother. Nobody has the right to tell you how to be a mother to your baby. They can give advice but at the end of the day it is yours and ur partners baby and you as parents decide. And you have every right to be annoyed i would be aswell. I decided to breast feed the twins but unfortunately after 10 days i was tired, sore and frustrated i just couldnt do it anymore my family was so supportive but the nurses i had come around were horrible to me telling me i was making a mistake and i wasnt doing the right thing for the twins ... this made me so mad but i couldnt keep breast feeding the twins the way i was.. from then on i told all my friends you do what u need and dont let anyone tell you otherwise... stay strong hun were all here for you.

[~clover~]

All I can say is ignore them. Let them miss out. Don't stress over their ignorance. You are doing what is best for your baby & your family. Its really got nothing to do with anyone else.
I was a young unwed mother too. Pg with DD1 at 17. I had the looks, the oppinions, all that stuff. I was at a servo when pg with DS & the lady behind the counter said something about sleepless nights & dirty nappies. 'You've got no idea what your in for!' She thought she was being nice. I let her know that I kind of knew since I had 2 at home already. 'Oh', was all she could say. She was never as nice after that

[childondaway]

I agree. I have had to listen to the same things. Not so much with breastfeeding but definitely with using cloth nappies. I have had to listen to ppl say "Oh that won't last, I give you 3 months then you will switch to disposables" and "why give yourself extra work, don't bother just use disposables" etc etc.
I guess the criticism starts in pregnancy, the only thing we can do is stick at it and prove them wrong, that should shut them up. A good friend of mine told me that usually pp who make these comments feel as though you are having a dig at them. Especially if they have had children and used disposables or bottle fed, they feel as though it is a personal attack on them b/c your not doing the same and that you are basically saying they are a bad person for using disposables or bottle feeding (which we are not - it's just personal choice).
Stick to your guns hun and when they see you are doing what you want, hopefully they will leave you alone. Try not to let it get to you.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

All the best!

[tattoo_mama]

hey hun
i have copped it too
not only being young and unmarried but also got tattoos and piercings so copped it even before i was pg
when ur pg suddenly everyone has thier opinion and they try push it on you
but remember, its THIER opinion and *usually* they are trying to help...in a wierd way
so like the other girls have said, stick to your guns, being confident and letting them know, 'thankyou for your opinion but this is what i have chosen and i am happy with it', i mean really what can they say back to that?! lol
i wish u all the best xx

[Inertia]

What do people still have against bfing???? Make you want to slap them all the way to the ABA for a bit of education, doesnt it? Why oh why WOULDNT YOU give your baby the food that is tailor made for her when you can?????? We don't make it to make our bbs look bigger!!!

As for cloths. Whose business is that? Tell em if they want you to use sposies, they can pay for them too.

As for the unwed rubbish. Ah yes, because that piece of paper instantly makes everyones life better... Ugh! DH and I didn't get it because we needed proof that we are a loving family - we got it to make it easier for Angie and CJ to have his surname, which they want.

Just go with always asking them to wear the cost of it. Seemed to work fine for me!

[Tinks]

Don't listen to what anyone says!! When you're pregnant everyone thinks they have the right to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and what they think you should do or feel etc.

You need to remember it's your body and your child. You do EXACTLY what you want!! Don't worry about what they say!

[SophieRose]

2.) Since my Fiance and I are not married I (not him) get the continuous "looks". like, "Oh another unwed mother".

That because everythings the girls fault. We obviously ensnared the men with our womanly charms. Oh, and we totally got pregnant by ourselves, with no help from a male.
Boys?? EEW!!

*Wonders if she overdid it with the sarcasm....nah.*

[Serenitylee]

Being told what to do and what to buy is one thing that really bugs me

[helle]

Blah. I dislike it when people judge the whole to breastfed or not, to cover babies butt with cloth or not THING.
Most of the time you'll find is because it didn't work for them. My nana is very antibreast feeding because she never got enough milk in and her babies ended up losing alot of weight, so in her opinion BF is a waste of time.

But, unfortunately everyone has their own opinions. Alot of people just forget that different things work for different mothers, fathers and babies!

I think it's a bit sad that they're not helping you celebrate at your babyshower because of the choices you are making for your baby, though. Boo to them!

[tattoo_mama]

agreed with teagz....ive never heard of a teenager needing councelling cause their parent used one type of nappies/feeding opposed to the other LOL
as long as thier clothed, fed and LOVED, whos business is it?!

[*The_Mrs.*]

Yeah it sucks. I am really not looking forward to my baby shower. My family has a lot of drama and I am sure it will be brought there.

As for the cloth diapers and breastfeeding. My family is more concerned about themselves. Mainly cloth diapers. My mother has already told me she thinks it is rude because she doesnt want to deal with it when she watches her for a visit! And now there is a bet going around my family about how long I will last.

I just want to hide!!

[tattoo_mama]

WTF? if she feels that strongly about it you have two options...provide sposies for when bubs stays at your mums
or say, this is my child, if youre not willing to care for her without performing necessities (e.g.nappy changing), then you cant babysit! she cant want to babysit but refuse to change nappies, wtf that makes me angry!! although im gonna be using sposies and i commend you for using cloth! *clap*

[Cassius2]

oooh this is so true!

I remember that once my belly started showing it was 'game on' for all and sundry.

i think the one that hurt the most was a comment by a complete stranger at a supermarket checkout that followed along the lines of 'well i guessed you earned that engagement ring' (as he nodded to the ring) seriously, this guy had no idea how close he came to being KO'd by a 38 week pregnant chick. and you know what? it hurt. it really really hurt. i actually felt quite ashamed and began wondering if this is what others were thinking when they saw my sparkly!