hi noni!!
there is NOTHING wrong with you!! i have been feeling very excited about the baby arriving for the last few weeks (and waking a few times every night hoping to find myself in labour!!) but in the last week or so lots of negative thoughts have also been flooding in... negative thoughts about labour and birth itself - will i be able to do it? will it be the calm birth that i've been hoping for or will it be an induced labour with horrific pain and then an emergency c/s to top it off?!! negative thoughts about the health of the baby - will it be healthy and normal? or will it be sick or intellectually disabled? what if it accidentally chokes itself on its umbilical cord and is still born?! and negative thoughts about life after the baby arrives - will i enjoy being a mum? will i grow resentful of being "stuck" at home caring for the baby 24-7? will i resent not being able to do all the normal activities that i've been doing with my friends for the last 10 years?
i think all of these thoughts are normal. it is a MASSIVE deal to become a mum for the first time, and having all of these concerns is only natural, and is a way of coming to terms with the impending responsibility of motherhood. i'm trying not to dwell too much on all of these negative thoughts that keep coming in and out of my head, and instead concentrate on the positive thoughts and be proud of my clever body for the wonderful miracle it has managed to produce. i think about how special it is that myself and my DH have created another human being, one who will rely on us, look up to us, and who we'll love inconditionally... and to get me through the labour and birth part itself just think about how well designed the female body is to birth a baby, and that if we keep calm then it shouldn't be too frightful an experience! and if worse comes to worse, then it's not the end of the world if we accept some sort of pain relief to help us through...
i'm not sure whether anything that i've said is helpful, but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!!