WWYD? DH wants to go on an oversea's trip (alone) when I'm 35wks?

[*Ang*]

At 35 weeks she will be unable to fly - most airlines do not allow travel past around 34 weeks.

I would let him go, I don't see the big deal really. And all this ridiculous talk about cutting his testicles off and being a good husband and father is a bit extreme isn't it? We are all "big girls" and surely can look after ourselves for a few days.

My DH is another that regularly works away and all pregnancies I have been without him for days/weeks on end, sometimes with toddlers in tow. My first pregnancy I was in the UK with no family and he would be gone from Mon-Fri. You just get on with it.

He has worked hard enough to get this trip so I really don't see the issue in him going.

[feeb]

At 35 weeks she will be unable to fly - most airlines do not allow travel past around 34 weeks.

I would let him go, I don't see the big deal really. And all this ridiculous talk about cutting his testicles off and being a good husband and father is a bit extreme isn't it? We are all "big girls" and surely can look after ourselves for a few days.

My DH is another that regularly works away and all pregnancies I have been without him for days/weeks on end, sometimes with toddlers in tow. My first pregnancy I was in the UK with no family and he would be gone from Mon-Fri. You just get on with it.

He has worked hard enough to get this trip so I really don't see the issue in him going.

Well said.
My DH has always travlled a lot for work and was away when both boys were only 3 or 4 weeks old for a week, its just the way it is. So as I mentioned earlier not an issue when he asked to go away to mates wedding.

[LuluHB]

I must admit that I don't really see the big deal either TBH. I would want my DH to go if we were in your situation.

[KitFaerie]

My DH and I would try to make it so we could both go, if not, then he probably wouldn't go. At 35 weeks during my pregnancy there was no way he would have left me and the small naked boy who lived in my belly, he was practically stopping traffic for me if I needed to cross the road (that actually got irritating). But we're both like that, neither of us like being away from the other for any significant amount of time (longest is 2 weeks)

For all you women who would just ''get on with it'' I applaud you, and I think it's brilliant that the OP has a range of experiences provided. But oof, I would be so sad

[Janie71]

Funny thing is my sister was in a similar situation recently, but her DH had scored tickets to the Rugby world Cup final (we are kiwis so rugby mad). My sister was going to be about 36 weeks pregnant at the time and lives in Sydney with no family around and a 3 year old son to look after. On top of that her first son was born at 24+4 so she was deemed a high risk pregnancy. They paid for our mum to come over from NZ to be there 'just in case' and it is just as well because she went into labour whilst he was gone! That's probably not very reassuring for you, but don't forget she was a high risk of preterm labour. And she did end up having their daughter while he was still overseas.

If it was me and I wasn't high risk I would just let him make a decision. If I didn't feel 100% confident being left on my own I would organise for a family member to come and stay whilst he was gone.

Janie xxx

[Boo Boo]

At 35 weeks she will be unable to fly - most airlines do not allow travel past around 34 weeks.

I would let him go, I don't see the big deal really. And all this ridiculous talk about cutting his testicles off and being a good husband and father is a bit extreme isn't it? We are all "big girls" and surely can look after ourselves for a few days.

My DH is another that regularly works away and all pregnancies I have been without him for days/weeks on end, sometimes with toddlers in tow. My first pregnancy I was in the UK with no family and he would be gone from Mon-Fri. You just get on with it.

He has worked hard enough to get this trip so I really don't see the issue in him going.

Yes, I have to say I agree with this, DH is away in Africa for work for 6 weeks at a time and back home for 2 weeks, with me being pregnant or not pregnant, we still need to put bread on the table so that is the way that it is. 5 days will fly by quickly, and by all means get some help, a babysitter, etc, etc. If it was for him going off for a boys weekend I probably wouldn't be so lenient but work is work and attendance at these sorts of things is noticed, fairly or unfairly.

[peanutter]

I think it's great that Miss E has been provided with such a variety of responses, but I have to say that IMHO there's a big difference between someone who has to travel for work - and who does so on a regular basis - and someone who doesn't normally, and so their absence will be quite a dramatic change not just for the OP but also for her DS.

It has also been pointed out that there isn't anyone who can come stay with her.

Some (not many) of the posts seem to have the attitude that the OP should just "suck it up" or that if she doesn't want her DH to go then she would be "not letting" him get this honour, and that seems a little unfair, TBH. Two grown adults in a happy and healthy relationship would hopefully be taking each others' happiness and comfort (and those of any children involved) into account when making a joint decision about this, and they would also be weighing up the pros and cons of the trip itself. Here, it's not suggested in any way that he would not receive the award by not going, just that he won't be there in person. And I'm guessing that there might be 30-120 seconds of the 5 day trip (plus travel) which is actually about him.

I was offered the opportunity to lead a work group on an overseas trip next year for 10 days in Asia - it's a work trip I've participated in three times, and it would be a really big deal for me to lead it next time. But it would involve me leaving my DH home alone with a 23 month old and an 8 week old. There is no way I would do that to my DH, or to my newborn. So I turned it down. When DH and I got together, he knew I planned on working hard on my career, that it may involve long hours and some weekends and very intense periods and probably the occasional trip to Sydney etc, but he did not buy in to me jetting off for 10 days to another continent where I couldn't get back reasonably quickly if needed. So I turned it down. I didn't want to, but it is the right choice for my family, and I do not regret my decision. But I plan to lead the work group in 2013, which DH fully supports.

If we could tune out the judgment from our responses to the OP's question, I think that would be lovely.

Most posts are just saying what they'd do and why, but a small number seem a little harsh and judgmental ...

[[on a less serious note, all that being said, it occurs to me that there's a simple solution: how about Amy_jellybean's DH pops over to stay with Miss E while the spouses are away?? ]]

[YoYo]

Sounds like you've got it all worked out

My DH was away in jersey (uk - i was in perth) right before I had DD. I was pretty darn emotional and scared he'd miss it. I also had DS, who, somewhat sadly, it used to DH going away a lot, but we kind of get ourselves into a rhythm to get us through. Sometimes we even cope better without him!!! (never told him that though!)

I'm sure everything will work out perfectly fine




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[Ladylove]

Actually I've just realised here I am right now at 35 and a half weeks and my hubby is away for three full days this week for work. Maybe that's why I'm so tolerant! He flies a lot with work.

[nickers]

It's a tough one, but for me personally if I were 35 wks I wouldn't be wanting dh to go away.
In saying that you know he is over seas ATM for work and I am 28wks, but given my first pregnancy ds was born at 33 wks I think I'd have a pretty strong case for him to not go..... I am nervous that he is not here ATM incase something were to happen, so after 30wks he needs to stay put.
Do yo have an ob appt just before he goes or anything? Maybe a check up and as long as everything is going quite smoothly may put your mind at ease hat you will be ok for that period