Changing a child's name

[meow]

I agree- maybe just ask that his full name is written on things. I've never heard of Ally being used as a boys name so I can understand how he's feeling uncomfortable in an Australian school with Ally written on his things.

[Indadhanu]

I thought the same thing as sneaky. And just let his teacher know that he has a new nickname. If it's not 'official' it's not a huge deal, just letting others know so that they don't call him something he doesn't want to be called.

[mrsmac]

On enrolment forms in NSW schools it has a space for name and then another for known as or prefers. It would be no hassle at all just to mention to his teacher that he wants to be Xander now. TBH I think it is your DS's choice not your OH's.

[Rivlas]

Both my girls picked out what they perfered to be called. Both are forms of their names but it was what they wanted. We still call them but their given names.

They just started writing their new version and everyone followed.

Should not be a problem if he wants to be called something different to his given name, alot of people have nicknames.

[Traveller]

Thanks for all your help. I feel more confident now that if he wants to change his "known as" name it will not confuse the other kids too much. I guess that's the benefit of a name like Alexander, there are so many shortened versions than can be used he has a great choice. I really hope he sticks with Xander though, it's such a cool name.

[Traveller]

I agree- maybe just ask that his full name is written on things. I've never heard of Ally being used as a boys name so I can understand how he's feeling uncomfortable in an Australian school with Ally written on his things.

That's exactly right, I know how difficult school can be so if his nickname is causing him issues I want him to feel that is something he has control over and can change, and not feel pressurised because it's a name we like.

I will speak to OH about this another day though, his immediate reaction was "don't be silly, of course Ally is a boy's name"

[allycat06]

I have a male friend everyone calls Ally (full name Alistair)..I've never really thought 'oh that's weird he has a girls name.' I think Ally is an awesome name (it's my name too!)

[mrsmac]

TBH in all my years of teaching I have never heard a child teased about their name and there have been some pretty unusual names. Since Australia is such a multi cultural country children are exposed to a wide variety of names. Has he been teased ? Why does he think he might be ?

[Traveller]

yes he has been teased, only a little but it really hurt him. He used to have longer hair and he loved it, but he asked for it all to be cut off because his classmates said they couldn't tell if he was a boy or a girl because he had a girls name and a girls haircut (he had neither in our opinion). He still occasionally gets an older child laughing because he has a girls name, and the doctors receptionist has called him a girl a few times despite him standing there looking very much like a boy. I know kids will be picked on for every little thing, I just feel that at the moment we are handing ammunition to them on a plate.

Having spoken to my OH overnight he is now in agreement with me, and we are going to go with the suggestion (from Sneaky I think, I can't see the older posts right now) to just revert to Alexander on his schoolbooks, coatpeg, etc, and to let him choose whatever variation of that name he likes when playing with his friends and at home. He is still insistent today that his name is Xander, so as long as he is happy with that then so am I.

Thanks for your input everyone

[KitFaerie]

My DH did something similar, just tell the teacher's that Xander is his nickname now, and the kids will follow soon enough, plus any new people he introduces himself to will only know him as Xander so there won't be a problem!

[~ Mylitta ~]

A lady I used to work with has a son called Alexander, and I have only ever heard him called "Xander" and I thought it was a fantastic nickname

[turtleschell]

I changed my name in highschool and still use that name today. It's easy, though he should be prepared for a few idiotic remarks during the transition period (ie childish peers deliberately calling him Ally to irritate him etc)

[Sunny Love]

I think you should leave the name as is, as long as you DS is content and happy socially. Why should he change because of this society?!? I understand where you are coming from though. I think you're belief that he can control this and change if HE wants too is great. It's showing him resiliance, yet also independence to make important decisions. It could be worse, you could've named him D'Weazel or D'Rascal! (Twin boys I taught!) hehe.
I think when he gets older Ally (a name I also like for a boy) might become a name that identifies him strongly from the rest of his cohort

[krysalyss]

We have scottish heritage and have both Alexander and Alistair (and Alastair!) in our family. But Ally was short for Alistair and Xander short for Alexander. I like Xander a lot! I have thought about what my DS will vary his name to. It is a little eccentric so he has a lot of play with .

[{sarah}]

I think reverting to Alexander on everything would be the safest bet & tell the teacher his current preference, you never know he might change his mind a hundred times!!

Our Alexzander is nicknamed Zander and it suits him so well. The other options we had thought of (because we aren't fans of Alex so much) were Lex and his great-grandmother said in Germany he would have more than likely been called Axel. For the moment he is happy with Zander but we'll see as he gets older.

[Traveller]

I think reverting to Alexander on everything would be the safest bet & tell the teacher his current preference, you never know he might change his mind a hundred times!!.

This is what we have agreed to, so we will wait until he enters grade 1 and let the new teacher know just to use his full name. This way he has more flexibility. Thanks everyone for your advice

[Kmn]

Unless he is actually changing schools at the end of the year then you might be better changing names on things now - so his peer group doesn't have another half year to get their teeth in to "Ally", and also so that when he says to them "I'm Xander" he has something to back him up.