She's just spent the night here before she goes back to the US and TBH I'm upset and frustrated. I hadn't seen her for five or six months. I had made it a condition of her visiting that we had to go to counselling first to discuss what had happened. I said that she could visit here to see DP provided she gave us a little bit of notice so that I could arrange to be out of the house but if she wanted to be able to visit on the spur of the moment then we had to sort out a few things in counselling first.

DP didn't bother arranging counselling but has crapped on to me for all this time about how I'm being childish. I stood my ground because a) I thought we needed counselling and b) it suited me at that point with a new baby and being fairly exhausted NOT to have to deal with her so I wasn't going to arrange counselling myself.

So I'm quite frustrated with DP that all this stuff hasn't been addressed earlier.

We had a talk last night. I'm quite proud of the fact that I spoke very honestly about my feelings in a very non-confrontational way and basically said my main beef with her is that I don't like the way she treats people and that I'm not sure she is a good person. She didn't say anything that really changed my mind at this point but said that she has stopped lying in the last few months. She says she believes she is a good person and was a bit upset to hear that I have my doubts about that. So it was good that she at least seems to WANT to be a good person IYKWIM even though I remain unconvinced.

Anyway, we talked about a few other things and I've corrected some of her misconceptions. She blamed me for being thrown out of the house. Not true. I explained that I went into bat for her on many occasions when DP had a knee jerk reaction and persuaded him out of throwing her out.

Anyway, on the whole, I think we made a little headway. Not a lot but a little and at least we can be civil to each other.

The big plus is that I think I've worked out how to handle her a bit better. Just talk very honestly and matter of factly about my feelings and allow her to do the same. I think I may go to counselling though so I have some support on how to handle the situation (and DP's handling of it) going forward. Although she's going to the US, she says she plans to get a job there, save for an airfare and come back mid-year to start a TAFE course. Obviously I have my doubts about whether she'll get her act together enough to be able to do this (and let's be honest, her mum is normally so hopeless with money that she will probably try to charge her 90% of any wages in board) but let's wait and see.

And on to the next chapter of the saga....