Maybe I'm just really harsh, but I would be inclined to go and get her. At that age I would have sworn black and blue to my mum that I wouldn't drink etc etc, but then would ahve gone off and done it anyway. I didn't binge drink regularly at all, but if it was an opportunity like a gf's birthday, and I thought I could stay the night (hence not get caught!) then I would have gone for it! My mum was reasonably strict, and did not condone teenage drinking. If I had to go home, I wouldn't drink, simple as that. There was no way I wanted to be busted!
Obviously I'm not your daughter, and I don't know her, but if you feel at all worried about the situation, I would go and pick her up. Maybe give her an extra late curfew to make up for it?
I bet it's times like these you wish someone else could make the decision for you! I don't look forward to the teenage years. Good luck hun
Yeah, I think I will pick her up. I didn't let her go to a party at the beginning of the year as there was alcohol there.
For me it more the "well if drinking is ok with them, what else is?" KWIM? I'm sure they will get up to all the usual 16 yo shenanigans (part of growing up), but its the fact that I consider the situation irresponsible and therefore the parent is too.
I'm going to spend sometime tomorrow cleaning out the office. Its detached from the house out the back and has a fridge and toilet etc. I will set it up as a bit of a hang out for Belle and her friends. Its hard for her as the little kids jump all over her friends constantly, and I rather them be here, UNdrunk.
Underage alcohol I don't mind, drunkenness at any age I do. I don't believe the alcohol will be properly supervised at this party so that's strike one.
Will the boys be sleeping over too? Mixed sleepovers in the teens... yes, I was doing that but TBH I wouldn't let my children unless I knew ALL the kids there. And there were seperate girls and boys rooms. And the parents were nearby. And everyone was sober or at the very least not drunk. In fact, I just wouldn't allow it. I know I did it but now I'm a parent it's different!
The third point is that you don't know the family. If my children were to sleep out I'd make sure I knew the family so I knew there stance on things like mixed sleepovers and alcohol. If I disagreed then no sleeping over. If I didn't know the family or wasn't comfortable asking about what's going on then no sleeping over.
You're right, the parents don't sound that responsible and I'd be worried too. I would never throw a teenage bash with alcohol (a quite meal with wine is one thing, a party with booze is another because even a responsible parent should know you CANNOT supervise this all the time... even as teenagers you can't supervise your friends properly, I know from experience in holding my mate's hair back from the loo at her party!), nor allow loads of unknown kids to sleep over. I'd rather my children and their friends be at my house with supervision and undrunk than me worry too.
I would pick her up, knowing that boys are going. I remember as a teenager what some parties were like and I am glad my parents picked me up in the end! I am sure you will make the right decision.
I'd sit her down & talk to her.
Maybe give her til 1 or 2 am & let her know you'd like to pick her up. Tell her it's not her you don't trust, it's the fact that people of ALL ages get silly when they drink, & you don't want to risk something happening to her, or her bf.
If she stays sober, she'll hopefully be tired by then anyway.
I personally am OK with maybe a drink on a special occasion under age, but not 'drinking'.
Just explainhow you feel. Let her know that 'yes it is more than likely everything will be fine, but there is still a chance a fight may break out or something & she may get hurt. You just don't want her to get hurt.
People turn on others for no reason when drinking.
I too would be inclined to pick her up, but like others have already said maybe a bit later. At least your DD told you that alcohol was going to be there, I think that certainly shows signs of maturity.
When I dropped her off I was glad I decided to pick her up. The house is right next door to a big park where the yobbos will occasionally go....
In any case she called me to say she wants to stay, apparently everyone is only watching movies and falling asleep right now. But Im standing firm. Maybe boys are not staying over as she txted back asking if her bff can stay here too. Since he is a boy, I am happy to drive him home he he he. We already had a very short conversation about bf's staying over, and even if Liam is not her bf, he is a boy and I'll never hear the end of it...
I went in the chat with the mum, and told her DD was not to be drinking and she was fine with that but I still question the reasoning behind booze at a 16th party.
I need evidence of a bit more maturity from here at home before I can give her that kind of trust. She has been a bit childish (well of course!) about not getting her own way recently, so we can work from there for the future.
Im finding it hard to parent her now as I've lost my yardstick. At her age Cyclone Lulu had already left home to live with her BF and his family so I didn't get parented from 16 or so. I didn't realise how much I relied on my parenting of me.....
You're doing a great job Lulu Sometimes it's good to break out of the mould, however difficult that may be, IYKWIM? Creating your own type of parenting might be a really good thing. And just think, by the time DD2 gets there, you'll be an old hand LOL! Good on you
at your ironic twist Lulu!
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Sometimes it's good to break out of the mould, however difficult that may be, IYKWIM? Creating your own type of parenting might be a really good thing. And just think, by the time DD2 gets there, you'll be an old hand LOL! Good on you 
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