DD has been invited to a party tonight. It's her gf's 16th birthday and it's from 6.30pm till 12 tonight.
AND THERE IS GOING TO BE ALCOHOL THERE . So again, I cannot believe that parents would allow that at 16. Now I fine with DD going, she says she won't drink and she doesn't want her bf to either (she says she's not going to let him...cute).
The party is not far, but I asked if another parent may be able to give her a lift home. She asked if it was ok to stay over. I didn't know there was drinking at that stage, and I happy to pick her up now I know there is. But she asked to stay.
So I do trust that she wont drink, but I'm not sure about her staying over. I mean what sort of parent lets that happen?? I do not agree on underage drinking I NEVER WILL, and I have no intention of changing my mind. I ESPECIALLY hate the argument that "at least they are doing it at home", its even worse when parents cannot show kids the possibility of having fun without drinking or promote the fact its practically necessary.
The mother will be there and I have her phone number, I should call but I sort of don't know how to do it without interrogating her. And I have a hangover so I almost can't be bothered.......yes I see the irony
well i was only 16 four years ago so being that age is very fresh in my mind. Does ur DD have a mobile in which u can contact her during the night??? My mum used to do this. She would ring me anout 10pm to see how i was going and to see if i wanted to come home.. then she would ring again at midnight. I didnt mind this even tho in the back of my mind she was just checking up on me but i thought it was cool that she cared so much but she was still letting me do what i wanted to do.
All i can say hun is.. if u feel really uncomfortable about letting her stay the night then dont!! mother intuition is what u should trust. This wont mean ur not trusting her u just dont trust the situation.. eg alcohol etc.
Honestly if it was my daughter (which i know its not it just my opinion) i would go and pick her up about 12am-1am ish... only for my own peice of mind. Trust me 16 year olds can get abit crazy!!
Oh im so glad my children are not at this age!! I think you should go with your gut instinct and do what you think is right. You are the only one who knows what the trust is between you and your DD.
I did have to laugh at the last sentence about being hung ova!!.
But if it is your family rule that they dont drink while under age then stick with it.
Good luck with what ever you decide.
oh dear (blushes) if only you knew what i got up to when i was 16!
lulu, if you trust your DD and the mum is there i dont see any problem - will probably feel good for your DD to know that you trust her too - which will make her much less likely to break your trust IYKWIM.
Maybe I'm just really harsh, but I would be inclined to go and get her. At that age I would have sworn black and blue to my mum that I wouldn't drink etc etc, but then would ahve gone off and done it anyway. I didn't binge drink regularly at all, but if it was an opportunity like a gf's birthday, and I thought I could stay the night (hence not get caught!) then I would have gone for it! My mum was reasonably strict, and did not condone teenage drinking. If I had to go home, I wouldn't drink, simple as that. There was no way I wanted to be busted!
Obviously I'm not your daughter, and I don't know her, but if you feel at all worried about the situation, I would go and pick her up. Maybe give her an extra late curfew to make up for it?
I bet it's times like these you wish someone else could make the decision for you! I don't look forward to the teenage years. Good luck hun
Yeah, I think I will pick her up. I didn't let her go to a party at the beginning of the year as there was alcohol there.
For me it more the "well if drinking is ok with them, what else is?" KWIM? I'm sure they will get up to all the usual 16 yo shenanigans (part of growing up), but its the fact that I consider the situation irresponsible and therefore the parent is too.
I'm going to spend sometime tomorrow cleaning out the office. Its detached from the house out the back and has a fridge and toilet etc. I will set it up as a bit of a hang out for Belle and her friends. Its hard for her as the little kids jump all over her friends constantly, and I rather them be here, UNdrunk.
Underage alcohol I don't mind, drunkenness at any age I do. I don't believe the alcohol will be properly supervised at this party so that's strike one.
Will the boys be sleeping over too? Mixed sleepovers in the teens... yes, I was doing that but TBH I wouldn't let my children unless I knew ALL the kids there. And there were seperate girls and boys rooms. And the parents were nearby. And everyone was sober or at the very least not drunk. In fact, I just wouldn't allow it. I know I did it but now I'm a parent it's different!
The third point is that you don't know the family. If my children were to sleep out I'd make sure I knew the family so I knew there stance on things like mixed sleepovers and alcohol. If I disagreed then no sleeping over. If I didn't know the family or wasn't comfortable asking about what's going on then no sleeping over.
You're right, the parents don't sound that responsible and I'd be worried too. I would never throw a teenage bash with alcohol (a quite meal with wine is one thing, a party with booze is another because even a responsible parent should know you CANNOT supervise this all the time... even as teenagers you can't supervise your friends properly, I know from experience in holding my mate's hair back from the loo at her party!), nor allow loads of unknown kids to sleep over. I'd rather my children and their friends be at my house with supervision and undrunk than me worry too.
I would pick her up, knowing that boys are going. I remember as a teenager what some parties were like and I am glad my parents picked me up in the end! I am sure you will make the right decision.
I'd sit her down & talk to her.
Maybe give her til 1 or 2 am & let her know you'd like to pick her up. Tell her it's not her you don't trust, it's the fact that people of ALL ages get silly when they drink, & you don't want to risk something happening to her, or her bf.
If she stays sober, she'll hopefully be tired by then anyway.
I personally am OK with maybe a drink on a special occasion under age, but not 'drinking'.
Just explainhow you feel. Let her know that 'yes it is more than likely everything will be fine, but there is still a chance a fight may break out or something & she may get hurt. You just don't want her to get hurt.
People turn on others for no reason when drinking.
Should I let her stay over???
. So again, I cannot believe that parents would allow that at 16. Now I fine with DD going, she says she won't drink and she doesn't want her bf to either (she says she's not going to let him...cute).
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at your ironic twist Lulu! 
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