thread: Teenage DSD vent

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  1. #1
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    O no WAY are you alone. It's amazing how self centred they are. AMAZING. I think my DD has said/done everything you posted at least 500 times. She still thinks the world revolves around her....

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    SE QLD
    2,321

    Is there something else going on (you know, untoward) that could be preoccupying her mind?

    I know that it's normal 15yo behaviour. I'm sure I was like this, but I had other issues going on... just a thought xx

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2008
    Kurri Kurri
    1,715

    Omg that is my DD to a T lol. You are definitely not alone in this. The complete self centredness, the dismissiveness, everything is my DD as well. We had advice from her cousellor to start treating her like a guest in a hotel. If she wants to share information with you then talk to her otherwise don't include her. It is hard to do but she has responded to it (as she didn't like it lol). Don't get into fights about her as they like ANY attention they can get. We sat down and worked out some basic boundary rules and so far they seem to be working. We have left the lines of communication open and she knows she can talk to us at any time about any thing.

    I send you big hugs and lots of tissues because this is a really hard time to get through. Make sure you and DH agree on a strategy and don't argue over her because it can and will cause rifts between you (experience here). If you need a shoulder to cry on or just to vent you can pm me or just talk on here all the ladies are great.

    Take care

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    3,407

    Is there something else going on (you know, untoward) that could be preoccupying her mind?
    I know she's got a lot going on while she's at her Mum's place. We try to step lightly because we know that's she's dealing with a lot while over there, but I'm just at my wit's end in trying to deal with her. Add to the mix her attitude, trying to deal with the Ex and TTC... I just feel like sitting down and having a big ol' cry...

    Thanks for replying girls...

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney NSW
    4,837

    That is exactly how DD was at that age, she has improved but still has those moments! I think/hope its just normal teenage behaviour I know I wouldn't want to be a teenager again for all the money in the world, so much angst and confusion and hormones.

    Hugs to you, it doesn't make it any easier but there are many of us who understand.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    N.S.W
    1,197

    No you are not alone. I know exactly how you feel. Today I could put DSD's (13) head through a wall, not that I really would but that's how I feel. The attitude, the language, the I don't give a crap, the mums always right you n dad aren't important anymore, the I don't give a crap about my sister or brother because they are only my HALF siblings. It was dh's birthday today, she couldn't even space 2 minutes to give him a phone call. I am so so over it. It's sad really. I hope things improve with your DSD soon .

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    2,031

    Grrr! Argh! *Stress! Vent!* I can so relate.

    My DD1 shrugs her shoulders and makes some weird oh well sound when ever she does something that ends up causing damage.
    I have confiscated her laptop on several occassions - the response I get is "I don't care"..... Oh trust me, honey, you will!

    And she does. She expects everything and gives nothing at all in return! She wants a new laptop - I want her to do the damn dishes at least once! It is infuriating to the nth degree and I too am at my wits end on how to get her to just understand! We wont even go into how she treats DD2. Suffice it to say the other day I said to her "How would you feel if you had an older sibling constantly speaking to you the way you do DD2?" to which she replied "I would have killed myself by now"... -- I flew off the handle obviously because whether she was purposely trying to destroy her sister and force her into suicide, or she just doesnt make the correlation - its bad and she needed to be pulled up there and then!

    Sadly I don't have any answers, but I suggest you try checking youtube for "Whatever! The Science of Teens" as it explains a lot. There is no easy answers in it but it does help you reconcile things in your own head and you might be able to develop some strategies to cope.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    in the garden
    3,767

    O no WAY are you alone. It's amazing how self centred they are. AMAZING. I think my DD has said/done everything you posted at least 500 times. She still thinks the world revolves around her....
    revolves around her? oh yeahhhh that....

    I had to restrain myself talking to my DD today, I restricted myself to the words 'thoughtless & inconsiderate' - I could have thrown a whole lot more in there as well The total disregard for anyone else... kills me.

    I really do think though that there is a certain inability to see or feel anything from another person's viewpoint. I kind of remember being a bit like that myself. (surely not this bad, lol) I think it's age related, not a personality trait (at this age anyhoo).

    So no, you are sooo not alone...
    ummm, as for how to deal with it *shrug* .... you know how everyone always says babies don't come with an instruction manual? well I think babies are waaaay easier than teenagers. I'm winging it

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    964

    My 19yo sister is still like this and unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I was oblivious to the world around me too, until I had to go out on my own and pay my own way.

    Oh how I miss the bliss of ignorance and only having to worry about myself Although, you couldn't pay me enough to go back there!

    The only tactic I can think of would be to possibly have the 3 of you sit down together and talk about how you all feel, draw up a 'contract' (or just talk about) for respecting house rules and the possible consequences of not following the rules, while at the same time praising her for all the good things she does do already.

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Add fionas on Facebook

    Apr 2007
    Recently treechanged to Woodend, VIC
    3,473

    oh don't start me.

    DSD is 17 and completely like this. I have no idea if we cut her too much slack a few years ago and could have cracked down on it earlier but it has created a lot of issues for us.

    So it would be hypocritical of me to give advice, just reassurance that you're not alone!