Sue, hun - you are not getting it. You are the only one that can stand up for yourself.

The troubled ones are the ones that need the boundaries the most! Yes, they carry on and scream get nasty etc...but you have to stand stronger for them to learn the lesson. And reinforce the boundaries until they get it.

The rest of the world won't let them get away with it, but they can always come home and kick the crap out of you...which is apparently what is happening now and will continue to happen until YOU say NO MORE.