teenage kids can be so cruel and oblivious to parents realities of money and health.

[Inanna]

Sue I have empathy for the pain you are in...

We were all kids once - & yes, like toddlers teenagers can be trying. However, it's tough negotiating adulthood especially when there has been a family breakdown. Life can throw hard stuff for all of us - it's how we choose to see it & deal with it that matters most...

Sue you need to make a choice. A conscious choice on what behaviour you are going to use. Right now you are a victim. To the system, the kids, money, mortgage.

Only you can change that. If your kids dom't respect you - I suspect it's because you don't respect yourself. You have to heal your relationship with yourself first.

If you are not prepared to have strong but kind boundaries - your children will not learn that boundaries are necessary. That is your job. You need to have a spreadsheet of you r incomings & outgoings, of costs involved in maintaining your home. I have done thsi with my kids to a degree (they are younger some of them)... Just to show them that money is finite - we all have to work together. When chores are done, when kindness is used for the majority of the week. We hit the icecream shop on Friday afternoon. It's something to look forward to... Even the teenageer looks forward to chatting over an icecream... Icecream may be too banal for your situation - but there will be something to draw you all together. Roast night, movie night with popcorn... Love you, look after you & try and see the beauty in each one. It may be hard to see it but each of them has beauty... It will release you from some of the negativity you are feeling perhaps.

I believe our kids are our teachers. They bring us lessons. We can choose to learn or not. It's hard work being a single mum - I understand. But you can & have done it alone. So, now without anger or resentment respect yourself enough to state what you will be okay with and what you will not. Work on a solution not on feeling victimised. Work on drawing you all together not on anger.

Don't yell or rant. Just quietly state.

I wish you luck...