teenage kids can be so cruel and oblivious to parents realities of money and health.

[sue1386]

this morning i did feel i could chat with this child and see their expenses because i dont beleive it will be half the youth allowance maybe a quarter. maybe she jsut wants driving lessons and a bit of pocket money. she is not troubled like other of my kids, though my mother who meddles and encourages people working against me can be, but even in this situation i was shocked that when i went in person to talk to my mum she didnt seem as cruel and unreasonable as she usually does. she jsut kept on repeating how overloaded she feels because she is paying for a solicitor for another family member, and she really cant afford that , so bits that a grandma may usually give for a grandchild she feels she cant do and wants more pressure on me, even though my sitaution is worse than the one of the relative she is paying for a solicitor for.

anyway i think i will chat and see the expenses and perhaps driving licence expenses and a bit of pocket money some occasional waxing and mecines is what she needs and it probably is not half of the youth allowance, and if it is at least i can see what the expenses they say they have are. i think this child is much less troubled and difficult than others have been, she hasnt been through hell the others went through from their dad , so maybe we can work out soemthing fairer.

[BrightSparkles]

anyway i think i will chat and see the expenses and perhaps driving licence expenses and a bit of pocket money some occasional waxing and mecines is what she needs and it probably is not half of the youth allowance, and if it is at least i can see what the expenses they say they have are. i think this child is much less troubled and difficult than others have been, she hasnt been through hell the others went through from their dad , so maybe we can work out soemthing fairer.

I'm glad that you are able to feel like you can do this. This is a step in the right direction.

I went through hell with my dad (and at times still do) I still managed to work part time, finish my HSC and go onto further study.
By acting and thinking the way that you are is perpetuating this way of behaviour/thinking onto your children. They are simply learning/doing what they see.Something to think about....

Only you have the power to change how you let these people treat you.

[sue1386]

i hear you
however everyones situation is different
some kids have more of an emotional load
my kids go to a school that is double as long hours and give 10 times as much homework. there is no way they can work regularly and those who did suffered alot it was too hard during vce years and heavy studying years.
some people can have strong opinions that worked for them but dont work in other individual situations. i cant keep repeating this just to please others. i am not goign to keep explaining this. some get it some dont. thats ok i need to use my energy for other thigns now
some kids are talkable some werent
sometimes i am treated in a way that i dont have any power to do much in but go on when i wish i could just die.
sometiems i have to give when others have been immature and hurtful to me.
there are not rules tht apply to all families including ones where there has been much more challenges.

[HotI]

my kids go to a school that is double as long hours and give 10 times as much homework. there is no way they can work regularly and those who did suffered alot it was too hard during vce years and heavy studying years.

Your kids go to school for 12 hours a day? what is the theory behind that being beneficial to the kids?

[sue1386]

no not double as long but its a much longer day and the homework there is crazy. they are happy there, i'm not changing their schools now. but if i had my time again i would probably send them to a differnent one. in the context of this issue it sounds hilarious but the school spends alot of time teaching extra things like values and morals< which given this situation is pretty funny.

[Lulu]

Not very funny for you though

[~Serenity~]

this is just my opinion take it or leave it but why do you not make them pay board if they want to take their YAL.... i was a troubled person with a load o issues too but i still had to pay my way...i agree with many others they should either have you pay things and you give a small amount of pocket money and keep allowance or they pay there own way...you are not doing them any favors by letting them act like this thinking money grows of tress cos they will not cope being in the real world on their own and regardless of how troubled they are ppl will only treat you how you let them treat you!!...in the end you can only do so much , if they wont keep your rules and treat you with respect then tell them to find somewhere else to live...we already have enough ungrateul ppl in the world...i was kicked out from the age of 15 for being a giant pain and it was the best thing for me...they need to know how hard the real world is and how lucky they are to have you....

if you set boundaries and they dont work...you need to stick to your boundaries and follow through with the consiquences, if they know they can wear you down thats what they will do, it may take awhile for things to get better but you cant stop cos its not working...you can do as many courses and see as many councelours as you want in the end you are the only one who can make a diference..my mum has seen plenty but if you dont do what your taught long term it doesnt work....you need to take care of yourself first. you cant help ppl that dont want to help themselves its as simple as that.....

i feel horrible that you are in the situation you are in but your the only one that can fix it....why cant you move to a cheaper area now, surely your health and you having less stress is more important