Mmmm...

Well the requests about times IMO are just common sense. It isn't okay to just rock up...

As for paying the mortgage. If she has been the primary care giver of your daughter and the relationship breaks down... She is very likely able to claim spousal maintenance from you. Spousal Maintenance is an interim order that helps tide her over until a financial settlement is reached. A spousal maintenance order is likely to cover some if not all of the mortgage and "other reasonable expenses of the marriage"...

If you want a 50% shared care arrangement - can I ask why you are in Hobart? Usually shared care arrangements are appealed soon after separation...

If she is breastfeeding and has been breastfeeding Alicia - I would think it unlikely she is doing this for your disadvantage. The WHO advise the children are breastfed for at least 2 years.
That would make overnight visits difficult - it's my experience that it would be difficult to gain overnight visits if a child is breastfed.

I wish you luck with this... Remembering a marriage breakdown is very very painful. She is in pain, she is grieving for the loss of the family unit as it was. You are fine as this is what you want. Give her some time and space would be my advice.