Hi there CFlake,

I won't comment on a lot of your situation because it sounds like a very difficult one - sadly, if you are unable to come to a mutually agreeable compromise, I think it is best dealt with through the family court system. It sounds as if you are very devoted to your daughter, and I hope things work out for you. I would be devastated if for some reason I was unable to have close contact with my children.

There are a couple of things I will comment on, though, and I will address this to both you, and Jessey, who also posted:

everyone's saying that you cant take Alicia overnight because she breastfeeds, i dont see why your XP cant just express for you it seems like an excuse more than anything IMO
This is really bad for maintaining supply. Expressing milk and feeding expressed milk is recommended for short periods of time - say, for one or two missed feeds - not for overnight stays or longer. Expressing milk simply does not do the same job of stimulating milk production to continue that feeding normally does. Anyone here who has been unfortunate enough to have to express long term will attest to how very difficult it is to maintain supply.

There are lots of really good reasons to breastfeed an 18 month old. It's very beneficial to their emotional development - it helps maintain their sense of security and their emotional wellbeing, and this is doubly important during the emotional upheaval of a separation. It's also good for their health - it is the most hypoallergenic, nutritious food that you can give a baby or toddler. I mean, look at all of those advertisments for the various toddler formulas which emphasise us how important it is to support the toddler's immune system to the age of 3 - breast milk does this job, and does it far more effectively than toddler milks. The WHO does recommend that children are breastfed until at least 2 years of age.

While I can sympathise with the emotional difficulties you are having at this time, I think you need to think about what is best for your daughter; and at this stage, breastfeeding is very important. I don't think you would be acting in her best interests if you put her in a situation where that might be taken away from her.

Secondly, as someone else has pointed out, you say you have initiated the separation, and you have moved to Hobart temporarily. I wonder whether this might be an important time to be as close to your daughter as possible, so that you can make the most of the limited time you have available to you with her? Perhaps it might be wise to consider your living arrangements to provide the two of you with the best possible chance to maintain your father-daughter bond.

I hope things all work out for you.