I moved into the spare bedroom a few weeks/months ago.

We have completely stopped communication except to do with the kids, and 'how was your day?' and talking about practicalities of daily life. When the kids go to bed, I go into 'my' lounge room and he goes into his. This is the extent of our relationship and has been for as long as I can remember.

We tried counselling, he said he loves me, I told him I am not getting anything emotionally or physically from him and I am not prepared to live as house mates for the rest of my life. He agreed things weren't ideal. Counselor gave us ideas and things to try to improve the situation. We didn't do any of them. Nothing has changed.

I have felt like this periodically over the 8 years we have been together. He refuses to really talk about anything and seems okay to live like this. I am not okay with it, but am living with it, for the sake of the kids I guess.

I am getting to the point where I am angry all the time at home, I'm angry with the kids, angry at my situation, I'm lonely, I'm teary, I feel like I'm on the brink of an emotional breakdown... I am too scared to tell my family for fear of their reaction. I have left before for a few days and then gone back.

I have the resources to rent a house and move out. I am just overwhelmed with how to do it. What about all the stuff? There's so much that goes into a house, like plates, dishes, sheets, beds - I know this is all stuff that doesn't really matter but moving a 3 & 6 year old into a new house, I need to have stuff so that life can go on.

I don't know where to turn or what to do next. I am racked with guilt tearing my family apart because I am not happy. I want more out of life than a room mate. I am so scared and emotional and can't eat. I feel like I know what I want to do, but cannot function properly to actually do it. He won't leave, so it means I have to take my kids from our family home and move into another house. It kills me to do this, but at the same time I know it has to be this way, as I would be too sad to stay in this house.

The kids love him and he adores them. He is a good dad. We are just not right together and I feel I have completely lost sense of who I am. I feel so neglected. I haven't been hugged, kissed, or cared for in what feels like forever.

Any advice or comments appreciated.