Sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
Maybe you both have got lost in being parents and other roles that you both don't know who you are anymore?
It doesn't sound like its completely gone, just off track.

Have you tried, to just spend time together alone? Not all the time but say once a week to start off with. Maybe this time could be spent not talking about anything but each other. Tell him how you are feeling, vice versa. Guys are sometimes clueless!
My parents started off like this, and eventually my mum realised she had lost herself (there were and still are, other issues) but she kept telling my dad everything was fine. So he took it as that.
He still regrets not taking time out to work on stuff. 20+ years later.