Thank you for all of your replies...

I told my husband I am tired of being unhappy and our relationship isn't right, with me living in the spare bedroom, nothing more between us than room mates, its all stuff I have said before. He said nothing. He just sat and listened and said nothing. It is very hard to go through something this major with someone who even refuses to agree that there is a problem. Its all me. He won't talk about it, so if I want to move out I just have to do it. I know he is upset, but he won't talk. I feel I have made my mind up. I want to be on my own, at least then I am in a space where if someone came along I could go for coffee or be friends etc. At the moment I just feel like a live in maid/mother. I am extremely upset and emotional at the thought of it all ending, more so for him than myself. When I look to the future and imagine myself living with my kids and having my own life, it gives me hope. I know its going to be hard and I'm going to be lonely at times, but at least my life will be my own, and I will be responsible for my own happiness, I am not sure if that makes sense.

The way our relationship is, I can't see anything preventing us from still doing things as a family, still catching up for tea, or still waking up in the same house for Easter etc.... but as for me as my own person, as a woman, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't hug me, show he cares about me, talks to me, kisses me etc. I can't just solely be a mum and nothing more. I feel incredibly guilty for wanting to look after my own interests, instead of his. I know he loves our children dearly and I've told him he will still see them all the time. I'm sure he wishes I would just get over it and get on with life and carry on, like I have done so many others times over the years.... but this time I just feel different, I just think if I fast forward to a few months down the track, I will be happy.

I keep telling myself that people split up all the time, and if you are not happy then to sort it out and stop being miserable. I still feel so awful about it though. I just wish he would be realistic and talk to me about it, instead of me being the awful irrational person that is breaking up the family for no reason - which is how he is acting.