hey hun,

i totally agree with you about the drugs and alcohol thing. my ex is a regular user and i worry about the demands he'll make when i have a meeting with him on friday.. but just remember that if it doesn't feel right, even if its just a tiny niggly feeling that you can't explain, don't do it! your instinct will always be right. and definately look at getting some legal advice whether you end up going to court or not. am a law student here in nz and am lucky enough to have an incredible mentor who specialises in family law (and has done for the last 20 years) who i run a lot of my thoughts past just because she is the font of all knowledge. know your rights hun. you can say no. the best hting i have been told by her is that being passive aggressive is the best way to do it lol. just smile sweetly and say "no". having bub's father around is good but only if that is a positive and safe relationship for bub. i just think that going to your local legal aide office or something would be so worth it, because you can never have too much information. and to me your ex sounds horribly like mine in that he's quite happy to say i want i want i want and then not actually get off his arse to meet the standard that is expected of him now that he's a father. my b****** ex is quite happy to tell me that i don't do this or that lol but he's not tried once to improve the timbre of our relationship to have any civility.. but thats a rant for another time lol..

anyway i hope that this helps, get some legal advice! just because you never know just how it might come in handy!

best of luck hun.

x