Im new to this forum and just wanted to introduce myself and seek some advice from other single mums. Im Kira and single mum to my little boy who is 7 months. I have been single since I found out and told my ex I was pregnant. He was very clear he didnt want to be a father and actually wanted me to not to continue with the pregnancy so I decided to go it alone. Very scary and stressful at the time but now I wouldn?t change a thing. I went through my pregnancy with no contact with him or his family but had the love and support of my family. It was pretty hard not having him there as I still cared deeply for him. He just didnt have the emotional maturity to understand the impact his actions had on me or would have on his unborn child. When my boy was 2 weeks old my ex's mother contacted me out of the blue. She wanted to have contact with myself and her first grandchild. She has now had pretty constant contact with us. Through her persuasion my ex met his son for the first time when he was three months old. Since then he has had some contact with him but only through his mother. Nothing has really been addressed about what happened in the past and he and has family have acted like there was never any problem. When they visit they all take pictures and act like one big happy family, completely disregarding the fact that a year ago they wanted nothing to do with me or this child. I guess I feel disrespected and now there is a beautiful little boy that is their grandchild/son/nephew everything is ok. Also my sons father never makes contact himself its always through his mother, never asks questions about his son and hasnt stated what kind of role he wants in his life. I dont think any of them understand the complexity of emotions I went through and the way their abandonment affected me through my pregnancy. I have trouble addressing this with them too. I feel conflicted in what I should do. I want to lay down some rules with my baby?s father - I want to tell him he needs to make a commitment to his son, to be there, to have regular contact with him and if this is something he doesnt want then it can be nothing for the time being. I not sure what the best thing for my son is. To have sometimes contact with a relative stranger or to have no contact at all right now. I know everything that happens in my boys life now, even though he is a baby will affect his future and I want to do the right thing for him. As Im sure you all understand, as a mum you are worried about making the wrong decision. Any helpful advice would be great, in my circle of friends I am the only single mum and it can be hard and lonely sometimes with no one to talk to who can really understand. Thanks for listening, sorry it was so long, but of coarse this is the short version J
Hope you all well
Kira