Just become a single mum.

**Early Kids** · November 13th, 2007, 08:46 AM

Hello, I'm Sally and i have a little boy Brendan 8 1/2 months (6 months corrected age, born early at 30wks) I am also pregnant with my 2nd, due in April. My ex-df broke up with me the other day because he didn't want us around anymore. I came down to my mum's to give him "space" and I thought that he'd realise how much he misses us, but it did the opposite he liked being alone better. Anyway I don't want to bore you with my story.

How is everyone? How do you all cope being a single parent??

**Amity** · November 14th, 2007, 07:02 AM

Hi Sally, I'm Cath and you can read my story in this section. I've been a single mummy for over a year now, and I'm absolutely loving it. Sure, there are good days and bad days, but overall I'm so glad to be out of my marriage.

My XH and I get along better now than we have for a long time. We chat about the kids, what they're doing and how they're going.

I hope things go well for you in the future. Gather around your supports (I live with my Mum and Dad at the moment) and know that you can be the best Mum ever!

Best wishes.

**rosehannah** · November 14th, 2007, 07:13 AM

Big hugs brendansmum, surround yourself with people who care about you and that can help out. Keep your chin up you deserve a full and happy life

**~clover~** · November 14th, 2007, 07:20 AM

Hi. I've had my share of single parenting. When DH & I were younger with DD1 we split up for a little while. I was baisially a single mum right up til then, as he had no interest in DD1 at all & really had nothing to do with her. It was really hard knowing he was right there, but had no interest in her at all. Since we had DD2 he is completely different coz now he can see what he missed out on & he's finding it really hard to get over it, coz he doesn't have a very good relationship with DD1 even now. It's getting there, but it'll always be hard.
Is your mum a good support?
Right now I feel pretty alone too as DH is away working & is totally unreachable. I'm not single, but I am doing it alone right now.
It is hard, but I think you'll find that when you get over the pain of losing your relationship, you will enjoy it. You will be able to put all your energy into your kids & raising them without needing the extra time & energy for him. You'll be able to do what you want when you want with them without having to worry about anyone elses opinion.
It will take a while to get over him, but I believe that it's for the best. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Thats not fair on you. Get out & enjoy your life.

Good luck.

**Early Kids** · November 14th, 2007, 11:23 AM

Thanks for the support, i am living with my family now, and they have been good. My dad can't get off the subject of my xf, he's really mad at him! I think we will get along well, it's just hard trying to get my head around things.

**Lilly-Pilly** · November 14th, 2007, 06:48 PM

I'm another single mum around here. My DD is 6. Her dad and I split when she was 15 months old.
I've been with DP now for 2 years but we dont live together, so I still consider myself a single mum, its still DD and I against the world!

**Early Kids** · November 14th, 2007, 06:54 PM

Nice to meet you all, and thanks for the welcome

mummycate · November 21st, 2007, 07:34 AM

I'm going to be a single mum. My DP and I have not split but we have agreed that we can't be who we are not. IYKWIM. I will find my own place and he will always be Elouise's dad, and we have no custody issues. Her address will be mine primarily (he's at uni, so he can't be full time dad) but she's going to be with him heaps.

We came to this decision with a lot of me crying and getting angry at him as he's not romantic to me at all, but after talking to my ex (who just knows me really well and was able to help me sort out what I want) last night, I talked to DP and we're no longer together but moving out etc will take some time.

I just am confused about centrelink. I'm on parenting payment partnered and wonder how to go to single payment. Do I just call them up and ask questions? I need to find a place either close to where I am now (Ryde) or near my new work (Lane Cove) as I don't drive and can't take 3 buses to work etc.

How did you adjust to your break-ups? How did you become independent? I can't live with my folks, they're in Brisbane and its a 2 bedroom house with my dad and brother in one room and mum in the other. It was very crowded when we were up on hols I'll tell you that! And I don't want El to be very far from her daddy.

My ex and I are not getting back together. We do still care for each other and always will but this is a big change for me and there's Ellie to consider. XBF is unsure how to be around her but we are not getting together at all. Just friends. Plus the way I see it, is whoever my new partner ends up being however far in the future, Elouise will have two dads.

Can anyone give me advice?

**katnap** · November 21st, 2007, 09:07 AM

Sally - sorry to hear about the split. But if he's this way, you're better off without him. I know its hard now...you're such a strong woman xx

Catherine - just ring centerlink, they will help you with everything you need. You will probably not be able to do much until you or him move out, as its very hard to prove that you are not together while living under the same roof. My parents when they split lived in the same house for over a year, and they went through hell trying to prove that they werent together, they just both wanted to be aroundt he kids full time. You can only call, 136150 is the family assistance hotline...